Monday, May 31, 2010

2410...Definition Of Narcissism

Just thought since we are dealing with the Tories might as well get this out of the way.

Narcissism is the personality trait of egotism, often used as a pejorative, denoting vanity, conceit, egotism or simple selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others.

The name "narcissism" is derived from Greek mythology. Narcissus was a handsome Greek youth who had never seen his reflection, but because of a prediction by an Oracle, looked in a pool of water and saw his reflection for the first time. The nymph Echo--who had been punished by Hera for gossiping and cursed to forever have the last word--had seen Narcissus walking through the forest and wanted to talk to him, but, because of her curse, she wasn't able to speak first. As Narcissus was walking along, he got thirsty and stopped to take a drink; it was then he saw his reflection for the first time, and, not knowing any better, started talking to it. Echo, who had been following him, then started repeating the last thing he said back. Not knowing about reflections, Narcissus thought his reflection was speaking to him. Unable to consummate his love, Narcissus pined away at the pool and changed into the flower that bears his name, the narcissus.

Freud believed that some narcissism is an essential part of all of us from birth. Andrew P. Morrison claims that, in adults, a reasonable amount of healthy narcissism allows the individual's perception of his needs to be balanced in relation to others.

See, they cannot help it.


2409...Let's Go Blue Jays

Nice summer day yesterday in the Big Smoke, an exciting team in contention and they draw 16,000, vendors, cops and players inclusive, to the Rogers Centre.

Same approx numbers on Saturday and Friday.

This is not good.


2408...Mulroney Sleazy

Taken from many sources and synthesized down to two words that's what the Oliphant report, presented today, concluded.


Lyin' Brian.



2407...I Have This Problem Too

Problem being getting kicked out of bars.

Coz I am too good looking.

Happens all the time [never].

Same thing happens to my mate Colin Belle who told the Northern Territory News that he was refused entry at Shenanigans Irish Bar in Darwin because "When I go in a bar I guarantee you I stand there - not moving - and 15 women come up to me"

Me too.

According to the bar owners Mr. Belle is a sexual predator.

The Licensing Commission will hear the matter in Darwin after Mr Belle lodged a complaint against crowd controller Gene Hocking.


2406...Mistaken Mascetomy No Big Deal Sez Doc has the story and the story is "A Windsor, Ont., surgeon who mistakenly removed a woman's breast believing it was cancerous, alleges her patient was not upset to discover the error — and even wanted her other breast removed just in case. Dr. Barbara Heartwell has filed a statement of defence in Windsor in response to a lawsuit launched by her former patient Laurie Johnston, of Leamington, Ont."

Oh, dats quite the nose stretcher.

By the way Dr. Heartwell is stilling cutting at the place this happened, Hotel Dieu Hospital in Windsor.



2405...Lowell Green Makes A Funny

This morning on his CFRA gabfest Lowell said that the smoke that is engulfing the capital is being caused by Members of Parliament burning their expense reports.

He be funny.

All the time.


2404...Well That Settles That

In WFDS Post 2390...I reported about the actions of Tony Clement, the Honourable Tony Clement, who was doing infomericals for some folks in his riding.

To wit 'twas, quoting my own bad self, an "...2008 promotion video for Lord and Partners, which produces environmentally friendly cleaning products. Mr. Clement identifies himself as Minister of Health in the video, and extends greetings to the people of China '...on behalf of myself and the government of Canada...'”

In today's Winnipeg Free Press he clears the whole misunderstanding up.

''I'm doing my job, doing my job as a cabinet minister, doing my job as an MP,'' he said. ''Every day of the week, cabinet ministers and MPs do or should be promoting business for this country.'' ''Jean Chretien made a career of it, towing along 100 or 200 business people on his Team Canada tours to Russia or China.'' He said the only problem would be if he had a financial interest in the firm or if the company was a financial supporter. ''Neither of which was true.''

He left this out though: As industry minister, Mr. Clement subsequently appointed the producer of the video, longtime supporter George Young, to the Canadian Tourism Commission. And Lord and Partners this year received three federal contracts, worth a total of $41,000.

Besides that, perfectly ethical.


2403...The Greatest Manitoban Passes

Duff Roblin, who was Premier of Manitoba from '58 to '67, a true Progressive Conservative, passed yesterday.

He was 93.

The Winnipeg Free Press reports that he was the man who went for the floodway, derided by many as "Duff's Ditch", a viaduct that has saved the city of Winnipeg from horrible floods several times over the last half century or so.


2402...Ottawa, Sin City



In the morning.

CFRA reports that Ottawa soccer fans will be able to raise a cold one for their favourite team one hour earlier during next month’s World Cup in South Africa.

The Ontario Government has announced it will temporarily change drinking hours so fans can watch the games at an Ottawa pub or restaurant.

Licensed bars and restaurants will be able to open and start serving alcohol at 10 am instead of 11 am from June 11 to July 11.

There’s a six-hour time different between South Africa and Ontario, so some games will begin at 10 am Eastern Time.

Councillor Rainer Bloess introduced a motion at last week's Council meeting asking for Councillors support to petition the province to change the drinking hours during the World Cup.

Not a soccer fan am I but drinking, much so.

Go Ireland!


2401...Remedial Media

They've even stopped trying to make it look different.

Last night, Sunday, the tail end of CTV's National News and the open of CTV Ottawa's news was the exact same piece. Word for word, action for action. No localization, no national feel, just there.

The future is now.


Saturday, May 29, 2010

2400...Carbon Tax, Seriously

What the f'ck is a carbon tax? Seriously. Dya think anyone really knows/cares what that is?

Health care.

Cable TV.

The price of beer.

Good schools.

Low crime.

That's what the people of our country care about.

Carbon tax? Good luck with that one.

We have to get elected first then we can deal with the carbon f'ing tax.


2399...Helena Guergis Mans Up

Unlike her former boss, our beloved PM, the Honourable Helena Guergis has stones.

The Hamilton Spectator
reports that she was in riding, Collingwood, Ontario to be exact, for the ground-breaking ceremony for the new permanent Georgian College Campus in that bucolic burb.

After the event that she told the paper that she is still trying to find out what the allegations are against her and offered the information that she has written a letter asking for a copy of the allegations given to the ethics commissioner.

She added that she is looking forward to appearing before the Commons committee on June 9 and setting the record straight.

It would be nice if Stephen Harper would man up and tell her why.


2398...The Bloc Attacked

In a concise and precise editorial in this day's Ottawa Sun.

Twenty years around the Bloc
Last Updated: May 29, 2010 12:00am

It was 20 years ago that Lucien Bouchard - or Benedict Bouchard to some editorialists of old - got in a hissy fit over suggested changes to the Meech Lake accord, abandoned federalism and his pal Brian Mulroney, and took some sovereigntist Tories and two Liberals to the dark side of Canada's two solitudes.

Hence, the formation of the Bloc Quebecois.

Excuse us if we do not celebrate its anniversary.

For those who would argue giving the separatists a vote in Ottawa has somehow kept this country together, we would argue a one-trick pony show with a one-province fixation has no place throwing its pile of politics into the federal mix.

What next? A federal Wild Rose party should Diane Ablonczy, for the sake of argument, suddenly decide to pull a Bouchard in Alberta?

The Blocquistes have it too good, and they know it.

As the longest-serving leader on the federal stage, Gilles Duceppe gets to cash his substantial federal pay cheque while working against the very country that has made his life so comfortable.

Is there any better gig than that?

Lucien Bouchard was a turncoat.

Duceppe, meanwhile, is what he is: A single-minded opportunist.

The Bloc Quebecois of today is on the wane, with its popular vote undeniably shrinking. As a result, no politician in his right mind will resurrect the Quebec "problem" simply because no "problem" exists - not since Prime Minister Stephen Harper's 2006 appeasement declaration that "the Quebecois form a nation within a united Canada."

But how do you make the Bloc go away so our federal democracy can once again become a true federal democracy, with better than long-shot odds of having an occasional majority government without the PM being from Quebec?

Throughout the last six elections, the Bloc has averaged in the low 40s in the popular vote but has nonetheless laid claim to two-thirds of Quebec's seats in the House of Commons.

Proportional representation would cut those seats almost in half. It would be the beginning of the Bloc's end, and a return to a truly federally-minded democracy.

For a one-trick pony show, 20 years has been 20 years too long.

The Bloc belongs in the history books.


2397...Marian Hossa Sets Record

Three Stanley Cup finals in a row with three different teams.




First two lost in seven.

Since history is a good predictor of the future I predict that the Flyers beat the Hawks in seven.


2396...Serious About The Cheap Beer I Was

We gotta do something, we being the Liberals.

I saw in a paper I was cherry picking this morning at the dep that we are at 25 per cent and the Tories, who are going to, without malice but with stupidity, do everything in their power to f'ck this country up, are in the high 30's.

Plus that Green vote and Dip vote is going to erode and where is it going to go?

The twnty five dollar two four could/should/would be the ticket.


Friday, May 28, 2010

2395...Speaking Of Cheap Beer

Cheap smokes got Johnny C. elected two decades ago; it is worth a chance, eh?


2394...Stanley Cup Tomorrow

Remember, for those of you on the border, beer is almost half price in La Belle.


2393...Finally Some Sanity

Read this from this morning's Globe and Mail:

Bob Rae hints at Liberal-NDP accord
Bill Curry

Bob Rae says there's no rule preventing the Liberals and the NDP from ganging up and toppling a newly elected Tory government: He's done it before and now he's hinting it may happen again.

In a brief memoir posted this week on his website, the former Ontario NDP leader and premier delivers a shot across the bow as he looks back 25 years to an agreement he negotiated with the Liberals at Queen's Park.

"This week marks the 25th anniversary of the signing of the Liberal-NDP Accord in Ontario. The election in early May of 1985 had elected a minority Parliament, with the Conservatives at 50 [seats], the Liberals at 45 and the NDP at 25. The vote split was roughly 37/37/25 [per cent]," the Liberal MP writes.

"On the night of the election the commentators (and the Conservatives under Frank Miller) went to bed thinking it was a Conservative minority. That was the way it had been in 1975 and 1977 when Bill Davis had used the rivalry between the NDP and the Liberals to stay in power.

"My own thoughts were different. I went to bed disappointed that the provincial NDP (of which I was then the leader) had not gained more seats, but convinced that politics could not just go on as before."

Mr. Rae's musings about Liberals and New Democrats working together come as polling numbers show the federal Conservatives remain comfortably in first place but that the combined support for the Liberals and the NDP is greater than the support for the Tories.

Coalition talk is also in the air after Canadians watched the British Conservatives form a coalition government with the third-place Liberal Democrats. The Liberal Democrats had also negotiated with the second-place Labour Party, which led critics to attack the failed proposal as a "coalition of losers."

Conservatives here are already warning that there are signs the Liberals are making nice again with the NDP.

In his web post, Mr. Rae describes how he and then-Ontario Liberal leader David Peterson consulted their caucus members and constitutional experts to craft an accord between the two parties that allowed the Liberals to govern without fear of "Russian roulette" threats of snap confidence votes. In exchange, they adopted some NDP policies in what Mr. Rae describes as a "working partnership," rather than a formal coalition.

The arrangement in 1985 has been raised often in recent years in light of the pressure on the Governor-General to sort out minority-Parliament issues in Ottawa. Constitutional experts point out that the 1985 example showed the Lieutenant-Governor in that case did choose to allow another party to form a government, rather that require another election, after the governing party faced defeat on a confidence vote.

In the final sentence, Mr. Rae delivers a thinly-veiled hint that his web post is more than a simple stroll down memory lane.

"In a Parliamentary system elections produce a Parliament, and Parliament makes a government. That was the lesson learned in 1985. Prattle about 'winning a mandate' with less than a majority in Parliament is just that - partisan spin, all sound and fury, signifying nothing. It is a lesson worth remembering."

Bob Rae, great Canadian.


2392...Let's Hope There Will Be Cheese

At the G8 and G20 summits.

It has been reported widely that the two summits, to be held in the Trillium province next month will cost a billion plus. That is 1,000,000,000.00 $.

Hopefully there will be cheese.


2391...We Have Seen This Story Before

Again from CFRA comes a timely report that the Senate Finance Committee is looking into the costs and benefits of abolishing the penny altogether as inflation reduces its value.

The Bank of Canada estimates since 1908, the penny has lost 95 per cent of its purchasing power. Deputy Governor Pierre Duguay says the impact on abolishing the penny would be "...insignificant and more likely non-existent..."

The Canadian Federation of Independent Business says for retailers, the penny is a nuisance and it's probably time to get rid of it. Yeah, let's round everything up.

In fact hyperactive NDP MP Pat Martin introduced a bill in 2008 proposing the elimination of the penny. The Winnipeg member estimates it costs anywhere between 1.5 cents and four cents to produce a penny when you factor in shipping, distribution and labour costs.

This has been proposed about a zillion times before; at some point 'twill stick.


2390...Here We Goes Again

The Teflon Tories be doing it yet again.

This time it is Tony Clement.

CFRA reports that the Opposition is rightfully demanding Tony Clement be fired as Industry Minister for using his position to shill for a private enterprise.

The Honourable Mr. Clement took part in a promotional video for a private company based in his riding that was trying to drum up business in China. Mr. Clement was in the 2008 promotion video for Lord and Partners, which produces environmentally friendly cleaning products. Mr. Clement identifies himself as Minister of Health in the video, and extends greetings to the people of China “...on behalf of myself and the government of Canada...”

The Liberals and New Democrats want the parliamentary ethics watchdog to investigate whether Mr. Clement broke conflict of interest rules or ministerial conduct guidelines.

It comes as no suprise that the Federal Government insists Minister Clement did nothing wrong, adding he was simply trying to help a company in his riding.

Question: What took the Reds and the Dips so long to find out that buddy was doing infomericals? Hellllllllllllllllo.


2389...Ottawa Race Weekend

It is this weekend.

33,000 runners hit the streets of your Capital.

There will be races on Saturday afternoon and evening and on Sunday across Ottawa and Gatineau as runners take part in the 2 km, 5 km, 10 km, half-marathon and marathon.

I expect to run my usual 2:11 marathon Sunday.


2388...Something Has To Give

Peter's Putterings in
The Renfrew Mercury
have this piece:

Stanley Cup combatants Chicago and Philadelphia have something in common. Both have dropped their last five appearances in the final since last winning the Cup.

Since 1961, the Blackhawks were clipped by Toronto in 1962, Montreal in '65, '71 and '73 and Pittsburg in 1992.

After their 1975 Cup triumph, the Flyers lost to Montreal in 1976, NY Islanders in '80, Edmonton in '85 and '87 and Detroit in 1997.

As Artie Johnson would say: "Interesting. Verrrrrry interesting."


2387...New Radio Station In Ottawa

EZ Rock 99.7.

It's the usual lite rock, less talk and will mirror in a lot of respects what Majic100 and KISS and Colueur and Rock Detente do. Still I think it is cool and it gives Ottawa a level of radio that is comparable to an American city the same size, a saturation level not matched anywhere in the country. The more outlets and the more newsrooms the better.

Their morning guy Neil Hedley has nice attitude and an accurate take on the state of morning radio in your Nation's Capital Tweeting this last month:

Listening to most morning radio in my new city is like going to a really bad amateur night. 5:01 AM Apr 14th via TweetDeck

True that.

Now we will see if he is da man he says he is.


Thursday, May 27, 2010

2386...The Kate Smith Phenomenom

Here it is, from a Philly Flyers fan page:

When good luck charms are mentioned in professional sports, the one name that always comes up is "Kate Smith". Never in professional sports has there ever been an unlikely combination that has worked so well. The radio star of yesteryear and the "Broad Street Bullies". But you couldn't argue the results and the love affair that grew between Flyer Fans and that first class lady.

Kathryn Elizabeth Smith was born in Greenville, Virginia, on May 1, 1909. She started signing before audiences as a child, and would end up on Broadway then with her own radio and television shows on top of her recordings including 19 Gold albums. The one song she is most associated with is Irving Berlin's "God Bless America". She first sang that song on Armistice Day, 1938. She did such a good job that Berlin gave her exclusive broadcast rights to sing that song for many years.

On December 11th, 1969 when Flyers vice president Lou Schienfield ordered the playing of Kate Smith's "God Bless America" in place of "The Star Spangled Banner". He tested several Patriotic songs in an empty arena earlier and it was Kate's song that sounded the best. This was a day when American patriotism was at an all time low and to spark fans that had appear to be disinterested earlier during the playing of the national anthem, a different song was played. There were several angry comments during that first playing, but a Flyers 6-3 win over Toronto changed their tune as well. The Flyers lost their next home game without Kate, but the subsequent home game and Kate's song resulted in another win - and the legend started.

It was up to Lou Schienfield to choose which games to play Kate. Generally it was a game by game decision - with Lou deciding on instinct or if the game was important. The first 3 years saw an incredible difference in the home records - 19-1-1 with Kate and a losing 31-38-28 record without Kate (including playoffs)

Kate's first live performance was the home opener of the 1973-74 season. Fortunately for the Flyers, Kate's 88-year-old uncle was sending Kate newspaper clippings detailing her growing relationship for the Flyers. For $ 5,000 she agreed to play live. When the red carpet rolled out , Leaf's goaltender Doug Favell - who had played all of the previous seasons for the Flyers in their franchise history, knew his new team was in trouble. If his teammates didn't fully appreciate her influence, he did. The Flyers ended up winning 2-0. It didn't take too long for other players on other teams to realize what it meant when "God Bless America" was played before a game. When the Flyers eventually made the finals and Kate played live before game 6 of the finals, Boston stars Bobby Orr and Phil Esposito tried to reverse the jinx by shaking Kate's hand and giving her flowers - it didn't work and the Flyers won the cup.

The following season Kate worked her magic yet again. A live performance in game 7 of the semifinals inspired a victory over the New York Islanders as the Flyers continued on their way to a second straight Stanley Cup. On January of 1976, during the height of the cold war "God Bless America" spurred on the crowd and the team to a victory over the Soviet Union's Central Red Army Team - and staked them to a claim as the greatest team on earth.

Kate's song started to be played less frequently after that point, but she will always be remembered. It wasn't long after that Kate's health began to deteriorate. Complications from diabetes caused numerous problems over a 10 year period. In 1982 she was awarded the U.S. Medal of Freedom. When it became apparent that Ms. Smith's time was drawing to a close, hundreds of Flyer fans gathered together at her hospital and sang the song that she had sung to them. Smith died on June 17, 1986, in Raleigh, North Carolina, but her memory lives on. A statue of her appears today as a tribute to what she brought to the Flyers.


2385...More On Jaffer

Rahim Jaffer.

Jim Wright, of Wright Tech Systems, is quoted as saying that Mr. Jaffer had never done any lobbying or secured any federal cash for his green-technology firm.

But he gave a mocking assessment of the business acumen of Mr. Jaffer and his partner Patrick Glemaud. He was quoted by the Toronto Star this morning as saying that "They were nice men, but they're not professional, they're not sharp. They're not business guys ... They're not on the game, don't know how business works."


Mr. Wright ended their business relationship last September, dismayed by Jaffer's sloppy work ethic.

Really biting.


2384...Slight Miscalculation

Life is all about making calculations.

Accurate ones are better than inaccurate ones.

Die Welt Online reports that would-be bank robbers in Germany miscalculated the amount of explosives needed to open the front door and instead leveled an entire building.

They blew everything up except for their goal. The safe and the ATM machine survived intact in Malliss, Germany. The building did not.

The bad guys got out of Dodge scot free.


2383...Shuddup Please

From the place just below us comes this waste of space story from The Hill, an Inside the Beltway rag in D.C.:

The Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee on Wednesday unanimously approved a bill that would eliminate the use of the words "retarded" and "retardation" in federal health, education and labor law.

Rosa's Law, introduced by Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-Md.), had strong bipartisan support.

It would replace the terms "mental retardation" with "intellectual disability" and "mentally retarded individual" to "individual with an intellectual disability."

Of course in a generation calling someone an "individual with an intellectual disability" will be considered, uh, retarded.


2382...More Cotton Heads Less Diapers tells us that Statistics Canada said that the number of people in Canada at least 65 years old could outnumber children under 15 for the first time within five years.

Just the facts, man, just the facts.


2381...Simon Cowell's Best

Cut and paste.

Joyce Lee / CBS News

Posted on May 26, 2010 at 1:48 PM

Updated yesterday at 1:49 PM

For nine seasons, judge Simon Cowell crushed dreams and egos with his caustic remarks on "American Idol."

To some, his brutal assessments are deemed rude and harsh. But, call him what you want, the sharp-tongued Brit is downright entertaining. Cowell's "tell it how it is" attitude is breathtakingly smug and is an invaluable part of the show.

"Idol" execs have big shoes to fill after Cowell bids farewell on Wednesday's finale.

Pictures: Simon Cowell

Read on for some of his most memorable zingers:

* "Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you're deaf."

* "If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning."

* "I never want to hear that song again. I cannot stand it. I'm allergic to it."

* "If you would be singing like this two thousand years ago, people would have stoned you."

* "You sing like a 3-year-old girl dressed like LaTyoa Jackson, you've got a bear...the whole this is too weird."

* "You sounded like Dolly Parton on helium."

* "You are a saucy little thing aren't you?

* "I though it had all the joy of someone singing in a funeral parlor."

* "I actually wish you had forgotten the lyrics, because it was such a pointless performance."

* "You sounded like Cher after she's been to the dentist."


2380...I Have This Problem Too

Wait, no, I don't.


A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men. The study found that more than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms. It has led to a call for condoms of mixed sizes to be made more widely available in India.

The two-year study, reported on BBC, was carried out by the Indian Council of Medical Research.

Seriously, who is going to go to the pharmacist and ask for Extra Small?


2379...I Am Irish

100 per cent.

Sure, never been there but my DNA is 100 per cent Green.

So it pains me to ask these simple questions:

You are a cop, and your vehicle gets attacked by youths. Do you a) Call for backup, b) Bring out the teargas, or c) start playing ice cream van music?

Keep in mind you are an Irish copper.

I reask:

You are a cop, and your vehicle gets attacked by youths. Do you a) Call for backup, b) Bring out the teargas, or c) start playing ice cream van music?

Of course the answer is c) start playing ice cream van music.

Police were called to Glasvey Drive in Twinbrook on 22 May where they passed a group of about 15 youths who began throwing bottles at their vehicle.

A spokesperson for the Police Service of Northern Ireland said: "An officer used the vehicle's tannoy system to play music to the youths in an effort to use humour to defuse the situation.

"The youths stopped throwing the bottles. However, police accept that this was not an appropriate action.

"The officer has been spoken to by a senior officer in order to establish the circumstances of the incident."

Sinn Fein councillor Angela Nelson told the Andersonstown News that the officer's actions "beggared belief".

"The PSNI are put on the streets to do a serious job and that is to keep order on the streets and face down anti-social elements. This is like a sick joke.

"It goes against everything we are trying to solve and eradicate in the area."


2378...Who Is Going To Win The Cup?

Tell me and then listen for the general consensus tomorrow morning between 6 and 10 eastern on 98.7CJHR.

The WFDS live and in colour where available.


2377...Hossa Makes History

According to a story in this morning's Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, referencing the Elias Sports Bureau, Marian Hossa is the first player in NHL history to appear in three consecutive Cup finals with three different teams. He did so, of course, with the Penguins in 2008 and Detroit in 2009.

Whether he also becomes the first to lose three finals in a row with different teams will be determined over the next couple of weeks.

To think the Senators let him slip away.


Wednesday, May 26, 2010


How about them Blue Jays?

This time last year they were starting their precipitous slide into the abyss.

This year they are in the hunt.

Shades of '92.


2375...Great Idea From The Dips

Couple of years ago there was a horrible crash in a van in New Brunswick that pretty much wiped out an entire high school basketball squad.

Isabelle Hains' son, Daniel, and six other members of the Bathurst High School basketball team were killed, along with a teacher, when their 15-seat school van swerved on the Trans-Canada Highway and collided with a transport truck in northern New Brunswick in January 2008. As the Canwest newspapers report this morning the 12 and 15-seat vans have been called death traps by U.S. consumer watchdog Safety Forum, and the U.S. has banned their sale for the purpose of transporting children. But they are still in use across Canada.

A Canwest News investigation last year revealed only Quebec, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia have imposed a ban, and the vans remain in widespread use.

The vans contain none of the common safety features of cars or minivans, such as steel side plates, reinforced roofs or laminated windows, that protect passengers in a crash and they also have a dangerously high centre of gravity and a propensity to fishtail at high speeds. In fact the U.S. National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says they are more prone to rollover crashes than any other vehicle.

With the above in mind and the horror that happened on the roads of New Brunswick, New Brunswick MP, NDP House whip Yvon Godin, is planning on introing a private member's bill aimed at outlawing 15-seat vans for student travel.

This is a slam dunk, doncha think?


2374...Vodka Eyeballing

I don't make this stuff up for you.

FOX41, Louisville, runs with this insane piece:

A new trend is raising some eyebrows, or more like, hurting some eyeballs! Doctors say some youngsters are trying out a new drinking game, where they pour vodka right into someone's eyes. It's called eyeballing.

They're even posting some videos of this online for all the world to see. A substance abuse expert is now warning people not to turn a blind eye to the practice.

"They're not doing this eyeballing to get drunk, they're doing it after they're drunk and they're drunk enough to act stupid. I haven't seen any students doing anything like it, but I've definitely heard of it. I guess it gets 'em drunker quicker. It just gets in their system quicker. They're actually doing it as part of a fad. You know, I dare you to do this," said Mike Gimbel, substance abuse expert.

Robert Stutman, president of the Maryland Optometric Association, says pouring vodka on the eyeball can have very damaging results.

"Vodka is about 40 to 50 per cent pure alcohol, which can take off the top layer of the cornea. It can cause scarring," said Stutman. "Can it make you go blind? I suppose it probably could, if it causes severe enough scarring of the cornea.

The experts say they are hoping to get the word out now, since many proms are being hosted and there's concern many will be trying to the game.

Kids today, I tell you.


2373...OMG She Is Now A Reverend!

It's Barbie. She has been a surfer, a nurse, an astronaut and now she is an Episcopal Priest.

MacLean's reported last month that Priest Barbie is a one off creation of Julie Blake Fisher, an an Episcopal Priest in Kent, Ohio.

You may look for the Rev. Barbie on Facebook if you are so disposed.


2372...No Kilt Please We Are Scottish

Have you caught this ongoing story from Raymond, Alberta, a town that has a large Scottish-Canadian population, a town near Lethbridge?

Hamish Jacobs wants to go to the grad wearing his uncle's kilt. His school says no. As the nineteen year old was quoted by the Globe and Mail as saying: “I find it funny. The school teaches you to respect your heritage, be different, be yourself. And so I am going to be different, being myself. And they don’t like that.”

Be the same yet be different. Or is that be different yet be the same. I always get those mixed up.

What do you think? Do you think this lad should be able to show his pride in being both a grad and a Scotsman?

Lemme know.


2371...Ottawa Heat Wave

On right now.

Phillipines hot.

Humidex around 40 both Tuesday and Wednesday.

Records set.

So it comes as zero surprise that The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Aministration tells The Associated Press that the world's average temperature of 13.3 for the January through April period was the highest ever as was the 14.5 average temp in April.

Now you know.


2370...Alert Vic Toews About This

Lindsay Lohan's ankle bracelet has Breathalyzer technology, proving yet again that Lohan frequently has her ankles near her face.

My fave movie star, the star of such great flicks as Mean Girls, Mean Girls and, of course, Mean Girls, messed up the conditions of her release yet again and now has to wear an ankle braclet, one that has a built in Breathalyzer.

The Associated Press reports that the alcohol bracelets — called SCRAM for Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitoring — have been available since 2003, and are in use in every state except Hawaii. To date, they've been worn by 136,000 people, for an average of 90 days. The device costs about $1,500. No word in the story whether they are in use in Can-a-duh but if you flip this to Vic Toews I am sure they will be soon, like by Canada Day.

The company, Alcohol Monitoring Systems Inc., which makes the only alcohol ankle bracelet, only sell to corrections service [da cops, da jailers, da man] and hasn't explored the consumer market.



2369...Happy Birthday John Wayne

The film icon, who died June 11, 1979, was born 103 years ago today.

A Harris Poll released in January of last year placed John Wayne third among America's favorite film stars, the only deceased star on the list and the only one who has appeared on the poll every year since it first began in 1994.

In 1999, the American Film Institute named Mr. Wayne 13th among the Greatest Male Stars of All Time.

Among the 220 or so cast and crew who filmed the 1956 film, The Conqueror, on location near St. George, Utah, ninety-one had come down with cancer, with an unheard of 41 percent morbidity rate, including stars Mr. Wayne, Susan Hayward, and Agnes Moorehead.

The film was shot in Southwestern Utah, east of and generally downwind from where the U.S. Government had tested nuclear weapons in Southeastern Nevada, and many contend that radioactive fallout from these tests contaminated the film location and poisoned the film crew working there. Despite the suggestion that Mr. Wayne’s 1964 lung cancer and his 1979 stomach cancer resulted from this nuclear contamination, he himself believed his lung cancer to have been a result of his six-pack-a-day cigarette habit. That is six as in one-two-three-four-five-six.

The effect of nuclear fallout on The Conqueror's cast and crew, and particularly on Wayne, is the subject of James Morrow's science-fiction short story Martyrs of the Upshot Knothole.


2368...Worst Car Ever: The Answer

For those of you not listening to the WFDS on CJHR this morning the conclusion was that the car profiled in The Yugo: The Rise and Fall of the Worst Car in History by Jason Vuic was, surprise, the Yugo.

Dat solves dat.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

2367...Worst Car Ever

Revealed tomorrow morning, sometime between six and ten on 98.7 CJHR.

Listen live around the world to the WFDS and be amused.


2366...Hawks Or Flyers: Let Me Know In Comments

For the Cup, y'know.

My sources [guys at the bar] tell me Chicago coz the Black Hawks have the most Canadian players.

Taken with a grain of salt.


2365...Lee Prokaska Wants To Work On The Hill

Seriously. Check out this puff piece he wrote about the newest Tory Senator, David Braley. OMG could you be any more of an a** kisser Lee Prokaska?

The benefit of David Braley

Lee Prokaska
The Hamilton Spectator
(May 25, 2010)
The Hamilton area has a representative in the Canadian Senate for the first time in 70 years.

Mayor Fred Eisenberger is likely right that the Senate appointment of David Braley won't benefit Hamilton in a concrete way. But the fact that such a good mind is coming from the Hamilton area shouldn't be downplayed. It's difficult to think of a more impressive person than Braley to have at the table speaking for the interests of Southern Ontario residents.

Braley himself, in reacting to the appointment, said he wants to make sure the voice of the Hamilton-Burlington area is heard on Parliament Hill. It's not a stretch to suggest, given his remarkable business background, that Braley will be an excellent Senate representative for the greater Golden Horseshoe, the economic engine of the nation.

It's abundantly clear that Braley does not think small. Nor is he inclined to half-measures. As a successful businessman, as owner of two Canadian football teams, as a philanthropist who believes in giving back to the community, his view seems to be go big or go home. He has a record of committing his time and his money to projects that benefit the community as a whole.

He keeps the big picture on his radar in a way many others cannot even fathom, much less duplicate. In a political landscape uniformly parochial at all levels, Braley's broader view is both refreshing and important. There are too many artificial divisions -- federally, provincially and locally -- and Braley's big-picture perspective will have an impact in the upper house.

Opposition members have been quick to criticize Prime Minister Stephen Harper for Braley's appointment, suggesting the businessman bought his way into the post through political donations. That's a lame approach, given Braley's stellar record in business and philanthropy. In fact, Braley stands out as an appointment based on real merit. Do hockey icons (Jacques Demers, Frank Mahovlich), former broadcast journalists (Pamela Wallin, Mike Duffy) or party hacks (Doug Finley) somehow make better senators than someone with a proven track record in business and the community?

There is no doubt Braley is a great Canadian with a long and strong record of success and community involvement. Nobody can or would question his devotion to and development of our area. His well- deserved appointment to the Senate is good for Hamilton and Burlington. And it's likely better for all of Canada.

Editorials are written by members of the editorial board. They represent the position of the newspaper, not necessarily the individual author.

Somebody is either edging for a job or has a super man crush.

And you, Lee Prokaska, are that somebody.


2364...Normally I Think The Bloc Is Off

But not this time.

Canadian Press
has a piece that starts "Bloc Quebecois Leader Gilles Duceppe says the Conservatives' decision to ban political staffers from appearing before parliamentary committees is 'just unacceptable.'

'Every citizen has a duty to testify when asked to do so, in a committee,' he told reporters Monday. 'How come those people would have a different standard than others?'"

Yeah, how come?


2363...Kate Smith At Least Twice More

Flyers got through so that means at least two more goes at it for the late Kate Smith and God Bless America from the Wachovia Centre.

The superstar, who passed in the mid part of the 1980's, sings her song before important games for the Philly Flyers NHL team. Last wee, May 19, 2010, the anniversary of the date she sang God Bless America before the Flyers clinched their first Stanley Cup championship, the US Postal Service held a ceremony attended by players from that championship team announcing the release of the Kate Smith US postage stamp in front of her statue at the Spectrum.

Her record so to speak is 89 wins, 22 losses, and 4 ties as of May 26, 2010

As you may have seen the video of her performance is accompanied by Lauren Hart, daughter of the late Hockey Hall of Fame broadcaster, Gene Hart, longtime voice of the Flyers.

Miss Hart is no slouch as a singer either and they make a nice duo.

The World Champion New York Yankees also use Miss Smith's talents during the 7th inning stretch and it seems to be working for them too. They are the Yankees, y'know.


2362...Matt Lauer Denies All

WFDS 2355...We Have A New Tiger apparently was all wrong coz Matt Lauer denies all, this morning in the Vancouver Sun nonetheless:

Superstar Today host Matt Lauer is slamming a National Enquirer report that says he has split with his wife over some alleged extramarital shenanigans in Vancouver during the Winter Olympics. is reporting that Lauer and his wife Annette are in Cannes where Lauer is co-hosting the Today show.

Lauer says reports that he had cheated on his wife are "ridiculous" and "offensive."

"I am living in my apartment with Annette and my children as a family and a couple," Lauer told People in an exclusive interview.

"I have never moved out. I am not moving out. There is no truth to that."

However, the Enquirer gossip tabloid said Lauer had gone "wild" during the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics, had cheated on his wife, and had stood her up for Valentine's Day.

Lauer says his marriage has had difficulties over its 12 years, but stressed that there has been no infidelity.

That settles that.


Monday, May 24, 2010



From the CP24 website comes this:

The husband of Brittany Murphy was found dead at his Los Angeles home late Sunday, five months after the Hollywood actress died, police said. Simon Monjack was 39.

The preliminary cause of the death of the British screenwriter is natural causes, police spokesman Sgt. Louie Lozano told The Associated Press.

"We concluded there no signs of foul play or any criminal activity involved," said Sgt. Alex Ortiz, another police spokesman.

Firefighters responding to an emergency call from a woman at 9:40 p.m. found Monjack dead at the Hollywood Hills residence, police spokesman Sgt. Louie Lozano said. Ortiz said he didn't know who called. Monjack and Murphy had shared their home with Murphy's mother, Sharon.

Ortiz said that the Los Angeles Coroner's Office was taking over the investigation because criminal activity had been ruled out, and would provide more details later on the death and circumstances surrounding it.

At his wife's funeral in December, a visibly emotional Monjack talked about their relationship and called her his best friend and soul mate. The two married in 2007.

He had said that they had been planning a family and contemplating a move to New York.

Murphy, best known for her major roles in "Clueless," "Girl Interrupted," and "8 Mile" in 2002, died Dec. 20, at age 32 after collapsing in her home. The Los Angeles County coroner's office concluded Murphy's death was accidental, but likely preventable.

The coroner's report said that the medications found in her system were consistent with treatment of a cold or respiratory infection. Monjack and Murphy's mother had reported the actress was ill with flulike symptoms in the days before her death.

An autopsy found no evidence that Murphy abused drugs. Investigators had found numerous prescription medications in her home.

Prayers all around.


2360...World Famous Is World Wide

From Six to Ten Monday to Friday mornings.


What were they thinking?

You are never too old.

We have a new Tiger.

Norway's Doctor of the year.

Plus the most fiddle music allowed by law.


2359...Never Say Never

Hazel Soares, c'mon down. She was one of 500 women to pick up diplomas a week ago Saturday at Mills College, an all women's school in Oakland, California.

So what?

No, so what!

She is 94 and it is her first degree.

The San Francisco Examiner says that she is the second oldest person to ever get a degree; the oldest was Nola Ochs who got her degree from Fort Hays University in Kansas at the age of 95 in '07.

Mrs. Soares, an Art History major, hopes to get work as a docent at a San Francisco area museum.


2358...Best Place To Spend Victoria Day


1. All the cool things are open on the Ontario side.

2. All the beer things are open on the Quebec side.


2357...MPs Spending

Not judging or anything but I find it ironic that the Parliamentary snapshot in today's Ottawa Citizen indicates that out of the ten biggest spenders on the Hill, six are from the Conservatives. The other four are Dips.

And among the lowest spenders? Six are from The Big Red Machine.

Things that make me go "Hmmmmmmm."


2356...What Ever Are They Thinking

The Times of London reports this morning that the American Society for Muslim Advancement are building a thirteen storey mosque and Islamic centre two city blocks from Ground Zero in New York.

Amazingly this is producing a bit of a backlash.

Of course the spin doctor for the whole shooting match, Daisy Khan from the American Society for Muslim Advancement sees it as a way to reach out to the blah blah blah.

Like others I see it as a tad insensitive and a way of poring salt on a still open wound.


2355...We Have A New Tiger

Tiger Woods apparently has a rival, that being Matt Lauer of Today Show fame.

The National Enquirer claims to have more details on Today show host Matt Lauer's infidelity, and it includes a "...romantic interest with colleague Natalie Morales."

Here's a sample of their latest report from

"The sensational new accusations come a week after The Enquirer reported exclusively that Lauer moved out of his family's New York apartment following yet another fight with wife Annette over his alleged wandering eye.

The marriage turmoil has a desperate Lauer, 52, secretly hammering out a $50 million divorce-delay deal designed to maintain his family-man image on the NBC Today show, say sources.

"Annette feels she can't trust him", a close source divulged."

What is, that anyone would find a 52-year-old fluffy morning show host's sex life interesting, or the face that someone could be paid so much for hosting a show with so little substance?

Nonetheless according to The Enquirer he is hitting Tiger Wood's numbers soooooo.


2354...The Dictatorship Tightens Up

"We're not in the United States here, where the American Congress
calls people, grills them and does whatever they want," Dimitri
Soudas, the prime minister's communications director, said Sunday on
CTV's Question Period

"We are in Canada here, and our constitutional principle is very
simple. It is ministerial responsibility. Ministers are the ones who
are accountable for the policy, the operation and the decisions made
by their staffers."

The headline on the top of page one of today's Ottawa Citizen is simple:

Tories order aides not to testify in front of committees

No minister, no questions.




2353...Norway's Doctor Of The Year

Is Danish doctor Johanne Krogh who has taken her magic healing hands to Sweden.

The medical wizard, a surgeon, who lost the right to operate in Norway after 29 cases of malpractice, has been banned in Norway. But she has landed on her feet and is working unhindered at a hospital in northern Sweden, where managers were previously unaware of her error-strewn past.

NRK, the CBC of Norway were kind enough to left the management at Hudiksvall Hospital in on her lack of skill as a cutter.

The Norwegian patient insurance system has received 42 reports of malpractice pertaining to Dr. Krogh’s work, 29 of which have led to insurance pay-outs. Two cases are awaiting arbitration. The bill is 1.7 million CDN/13 million Norwegian shekels.

NPE decided to revoke Dr. Krogh’s orthopedic and surgical licenses after the first twenty reports of serious medical malpractice, which prevented her from performing surgery in the country.

But there was nothing to prevent her from working in neighbouring Sweden, where she is free to continue operating.

Makes you wonder if the same is happening in Our Home And Native Land.


2352...Elvis Impersonator Jacked

By a man with East Side tattooed on his upper lip and 13 tattooed on his chin in the shape of a goatee.

It was a home invasion that The Pueblo Chieftain reports happened in Pueblo County, Colorado in April of this year.

What is unclear is what the gang banger wanted from an Elvis impersonator but, hey, who am I to question stupid?


2351...The Tories Gotta Love This Guy

The Orlando Sentinel drops this piece: John Mark Coney is a candidate for Orange County School Board chairman and he left a memorable first impression at a recent candidates' forum by reading from the Bible, recommending that President Obama withdraw his Supreme Court nominee and breaking the news that at 53 he's still a virgin.

Nobody can be that ugly, can they?


2350...Taser News Today

This time out of Atlanta where FOX5 reports that the cops in that town tasered, er Tasered [don't want to get sued; the Taser people don't play] Clifford Grevemberg an autistic 18 year old boy.

After tasering, er Tasering him 5-0 tossed him to the ground, busting a tooth and scraping him up nicely.

His crime? Sitting on the curb with his head in his hands. Did I mention he is autistic?


2349...I'll Take Prince Andrew For 500,000 Quid

Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, feels devastated after she was secretly recorded allegedly offering to sell access to her ex-husband Prince Andrew in return for £500,000.

Sure, she's devastated coz she got busted.

The British tabloid News of the World posted video on its website that appears to show Ferguson discussing payment terms.

She is heard to say, "£500,000 when you can, to me, open doors."

Asked if she was referring to her former hubby, the Prince, she said: "Yeah."

He is no layabout. The former warrior [see Falklands War, helicopter division] is an international trade ambassador for the Brits.

She on the other hand has struggled with money since breaking up with him in '96. In the last fourteen years she has written children's books, made television documentaries and acted as a spokeswoman for Weight Watchers.

She is so in demand that the company set up to manage her, Hartmoor LLC, went kaput.

So she needs the £500k.


Sunday, May 23, 2010

2348...I Have A Question For You

Your girlfriend is sleeping with the owner of the topless coffee shop where she works. Do you a) share your feelings with her, b) break up with her, or c) burn the place down after telling everyone that's what you were going to do?

Of course the correct answer is c) burn the place down after telling everyone that's what you were going to do.

In defense of our hero, 48-year-old Raymond Bellavance Jr., he did also do a) share your feelings with her two hours before he did c) burn the place down after telling everyone that's what you were going to do.

This all happened in June of last year in Augusta, Maine and The Associated Press says that Mr. Bellavance used gasoline to burn down the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop coz his girly girl was nailing the shop's owner Donald Crabtree.

Who knew that the capital of Maine had such intrique.

By the way Mr. Bellavance is in jail awaiting trial after which he will presumably be in prison. No word on whether setting her place of employment on fire pulled his girly girl closer to him.

I think not.


2347...Preston Manning?


Geez he is the guy that started this whole Stephen Harper mess so if we are going to go down that hole I guess it would make sense to have him leading the parade.

That's what Mark Milke says on the editorial page of today's Calgary Herald.

He asserts that "...Prime Minister
Stephen Harper should choose someone with a record of service that
helped place Canada in its current, enviable position, and which
stands in stark contrast to the rest of the world."

That, Mr. Milke, was not Preston Manning. It was the Liberal guv that ran the country from '93 until the present government took power.

Following that logic, next G-G should either be Jean Chretien or Paul Martin.



2346...The Trap Has Been Set Yet Again


The Montreal Canadiens did the same to the Philly Flyers as they did to the Washington Capitals and the Penguins of Pittsburgh.

They allowed the Flyers to take a 3/1 lead, presumably order champagne and ready themselves for the winner of the Chicago/San Jose series.



Saturday, May 22, 2010

2345...Taking All The Fun Out Of High School

That's your RCMP at work.

This time in Surrey, British Columbia.

The Canadian Press reports that apparently boys in senior grades at Lord Teedsmuir Secondary in suburban Cloverdale devised a game in which Grade 11 and 12 boys compete to see who can have sex with the most Grade 8 girls.

The Metro Vancouver school district is acting quickly to stop the potentially illegal contest officials first learned about from Facebook. Surrey School District spokesman Doug Strachan says according to the Facebook information, boys in senior grades at Lord Teedsmuir Secondary in suburban Cloverdale are involved.

There are no known victims, but Mr. Strachan says parents have been informed by letter about the incident and counsellors have spoken with Grade 8 students at the school. Surrey RCMP have also begun meeting with boys in Grades 11 and 12, to warn them about the legal implications of having sex with minors. It's not known how long the contest was under way.

Kids today, they are such scamps!


2344...Pricey Prisons

That's the headline of an Edmonton Journal editorial today:

For decades, California has cracked down on crime, punishingoffenders with textbook "tough" policies like mandatory minimums,"three strikes laws" and stringent parole. The result has been asteady and dramatic rise in the state's prison population. Today,about 167,000 adults are incarcerated in California. Offenders arenow being locked up at a per-capita rate well over double what itwas 30 years ago.

All those prisoners have cost the state's taxpayers dearly. In 190 [sic] California spent about $1 billion on corrections. By 2007 thatnumber had climbed to nearly $14 billion.

Today about one in every nine dollars the state spends goes to prisons and prisoners. It's no surprise then that prison expenses are cited as a major factor in California's deteriorating finances. Legislators are now trying to push through measures to cut the prison population.Whether they succeed may play a key role in deciding whether the state stays solvent.

Given the California example, it's remarkable how little attentionhas been paid in this country to the costs of dramatic changes being proposed for -- and in some cases already implemented to -- Canada'spenal system. A swath of Conservative justice bills have already passed the Commons once, despite MPs having little firm knowledge on how much they will cost.

Most of those bills died when Stephen Harperprorogued Parliament earlier this year. But one -- Bill C-25, which will prevent convicts from claiming double credit for time servedbefore trial -- has already been made law. The government says that bill will cost $2 billion to implement.But they produced that figure only after reports Parliament's independent Budget Officer was ready to peg its true costs in the$7-10 billion range.

That the opposition Liberals voted for that measure without knowinghow much it would cost does not speak highly of their watchdogcredentials, or their current, more questioning posture. As for the Conservatives, they have repeatedly refused to provide a detailed costing of their justice agenda, which includes California-style mandatory minimums for some drug crimes. Until they do, debate on their bills should grind to a halt. Before Canada goes down the California road, the government owes itto the taxpayers to show exactly what the tolls would be.

Right said.


2343...Serious Bullsh*t

1. Tories are a ahead in the polls.

2. They are b*tches.

3. They are crying coz the poll dude for the CBC, Frank Graves of EKOS is biased towards the Liberals.

4. See number 1.



2342...Go Habs Go

Lord Stanley is inching closer to his historical home.


Friday, May 21, 2010

2341...Prince Of Pot Deported

I don't quite understand this file but the Vancouver Province has this piece on Marc Emery's move to America:

Supporters of Marc Emery -- British Columbia's so-called Prince of Pot -- say he was loaded into a transport vehicle Thursday morning and driven across the U.S. border to face marijuana charges.

"Marc Emery ... is being extradited to the United States as we speak. Guards are loading Emery into a transport vehicle to take him across the U.S. border," said a news release.

Supporters claim Canada's Conservative government is initiating a "culture war" by refusing to intervene in the extradition of Emery, who is accused of shipping marijuana seeds by mail to the U.S. for cultivation.

Emery had been awaiting extradition in B.C. Protesters have been occupying Conservative Party MP offices to push their position.

On Wednesday, Emery's wife, Jodie Emery, joined protesters occupying Prime Minister Stephen Harper's Calgary constituency office.

"My husband committed a crime punishable by only a $200 fine in Canada, yet this Conservative government is sending him to serve up to 25 years in U.S. jail," Emery's wife said in a news release.

"I promise you, Stephen Harper, we will hound you until you are nothing but an unpleasant memory."

Something tells me that Mr. Harper is not vexed by this.


2340...When Things Go Bad

It never rains but it pours.

And it is pouring hard on the Honourable Helena Guergis.

Glen McGregor in the Ottawa Citizen writes that she "...has been fined by the federal ethics commissioner for failing to report a mortgage used to purchase her new Ottawa home."

The fine for failing to declare liabilities over 10 K is only 100 bux but still.


2339...Speaking Of Abortion

May be they are more mature about this subject in Merry Ole.

The Ottawa Citizen has a small piece in today's birdcage liner reporting that Britain will air its first TV advertisement for abortion services next week...Marie Stopes International, which run clinics across the country...Monday on Channel 4...until the end of June..."

This of course has anti choice groups/pro lifers in a tizzy.

Such is life.


2338...Insert Cash Become Senator

Ah, that is the ticket, eh?

TSN reported last night that Stephen Harper has appointed the single biggest donor from his 2004 Conservative party leadership campaign to a $132,000 a year Senate seat.

Sports tycoon David Braley is the latest Tory partisan punted into Parliament's upper chamber. He has given 99 K to the Tories over the last half dozen years and is being rewarded with tax credits and a job that pays over double what he invested.

The businessman from Hamilton, Ontario, owns two of the eight CFL clubs: the B.C. Lions and the Toronto Argonauts. He replaces Conservative senator St. Wilbert of Keon, who reached the mandatory Senate retirement age of 75 just days ago and can now return to his passion for cruising crack neighbourhoods of our Nation's Capital.


Thursday, May 20, 2010

2337...Not Smart

Darnell Dockett, a defensive tackle with the NFL's Arizona Cardinals gets a big fail for posting hisself online taking a shower.

The Pro Bowler put his soapy butt on the Ustream site to win 1,000 dollars in a bet with a teammate.

Like it or not Mr. Dockett is now an icon in the gay community.


2336...Dan Aykroyd Banned In Ontario

Not him personally but Dan Aykroyd's Chrystal Head Vodka, bottle one million already has been produced in Newfoundland by the by, is still banned by the Liquor Control Board of Ontario.

Buried deep in the bowels of today's Ottawa Citizen it is stated that the reason that the product is banned is that the bottle is skull shaped and that, apparently, can make young people want to binge drink.

Logic, we don't need no stinking logic.


2335...More On

Re WFDS Post 2323...He Has A Stylist?

I think that Don Martin in the Calgary Herald, our beloved leader's hometown newspaper, hits it on the nail when he writes that "There's more than skin-deep irony in Stephen Harper being the first prime minister to hire the full-time services of a stylist to keep his cowlick slicked and, should television duty call, his eyes lined with mascara. After all, we're talking about the same Harper who criticized his original leader for upgrading his appearance with outside help."

We are also talking about a guy who looks like he shops from the sales rack at Moore's.

According to Mr. Martin's scribbling the other two leaders, Jack Layton and Michael Ignatieff, don't have stylists. As for Gilles Ducceppe, well, he just has that je ne sais quoi, doncha think?

Still whatever they, the Tories, are paying his stylist, Michelle Muntean, unless she is bl*wing him, it is too much.


2334...Things You Cannot Do In New Jersey

1. Have a personalized license plate that pays tribute to female dogs.

To wit, WXII reports that a New Jersey woman's personalized license plate reading "BIOCH" is revoked after a complaint.

Methinks that wouldn't fly in Ontario either. Or anywhere else.


2333...Tough Times

I was the worst w o r s t worst waiter in Ottawa for many, many years. Soooooooo bad that I had the opportunity to work at 38 of the finest restaurants in the city, many for hours at a time.

But, coz I am superficially charming, I did make a nice living.

That said I can emphasize with 22-year-old Ashley Johnson who The Charlotte Observer reported Monday felt slighted after spending three hours waiting on a couple at Brixx Pizza who left only a $5 tip.

Problem is she put it on Facebook.

Got fired.

And got her name in the paper.

Looking for another job.

May be she should look for another town too, eh?

After all, she was in the paper.


2332...NASCAR Driver Blows Engine

Not news.

NASCAR Driver blows engine while fleeing from the cops.


Former NASCAR driver James Edward Neal is arrested in California for leading police on a chase that pushed the speedometer to at least 140 miles per hour.

Reported all over the World Wide Web is the tale of Orange County sheriff's deputies trying to pull over Mr. Neal at 3 a.m. Monday in San Clemente for not having a front license plate on his 2003 Chevrolet Corvette, a minor infraction that he could have settled without a fine, sheriff's spokesman Jim Amormino said. Seriously, dude, the copper would have just told you to put the tag on. Geez, give your head a shake.

Our hero, who in his two decades plus as a NASCAR driver won as many national level races as myself and Pierre Bourque combined, refused to stop and sped onto Interstate 5, where the California Highway Patrol took over the chase. Mr. Neal raced south at speeds of up to 140 mph and quickly pulled away from CHP officers. "He was going so fast that they lost sight of him."

Then he a had a problem: his engine blew up so Mr. Neal finally pulled over after his engine blew up near La Jolla, 50 miles from where the chase started. Deputies arrested him without a struggle.

Busted on Monday, he recieved a month in jail Tuesday.

See ya!!!


2331...Hell Needs An Addition

Chatham Daily News this morning has this chilling story.

Some loser in that town dumped five newborn puppies, you read right, newborn puppies, in the Dresden, Ontario community swimming pool.

Find the sonuvab*tch and throw his butt in jail. Forever.


2330...Pay Attention Chief

The fire chief in Huntsville has been reassigned following an alleged security breach ahead of next month’s G8 Summit in cottage country.

The Globe and Mail reports Fire Chief Stephen Hernen was shunted from his desk job to administrative duties pending an investigation.

Sources tell the Globe that Chief Hernen is accused of violating security protocols by temporarily lending his G8 security key to a fellow firefighter, giving access to the RCMP controlled facility.

The town of Huntsville issued a statement saying the chief was “temporarily reassigned to administrative duties” pending an investigation.

Temporarily until they fire his ass I would think.

First line of defence and all that.



2329...Things Not To Donate To Goodwill

1. Live Grenades.

Channel 12
in Greensboro, North Carolina reports that a grenade was found in some clothing donated to a Goodwill location in Madison, police in Madison said.

The device was taken to the Madison police station and the Greensboro PD's bomb were expected to take care of business.


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

2328...Ha Hah

I am not one to laugh at another's pain unless the another is a sanctimonious prig.

Rep. Mark Souder, an Indiana Republican known for his support of traditional family values, is a sanctimonious prig.

Anti-abortion, pro-family, anti-gay, the eight term United States Congressman has been banging a part-time aid, Tracy Meadows Jackson, since 2004.

The Washington Post says that "Souder, 59, a pudgy man with an unruly shelf of gray hair, got high marks in his district for his evangelical beliefs. He received an A-plus rating from the National Rifle Association and a 100 percent rating from the National Right to Life Committee.

Jackson, 45, a strawberry blonde, also worked as a Mary Kay cosmetics consultant and is married to a successful homebuilder and Kosciusko County Commissioner. On Facebook, where she maintained a profile, she routinely sent high-fives to Souder -- clicking "Like" --when he posted his congressional activities on his page."

For several years Mrs. Jackson, yeah, she is married too, had no official title and no fixed office where she was assigned to work. Did I mention she also took wedding vows? She earned $10,000 to $20,000 a year in salary, congressional staff records show.

Of course Mr. Souders would be the first to tattoo you with a scarlet letter if you were an adulterer.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Mr. Congressman.


2327...Is The Pope Catholic?

Apparently so.

And so are members of his staff such as Cardinal Marc Ouellet, the primate of the Roman Catholic Church in Canada, who has come out against abortion.


As the National Post points out in an editorial this morning his anti abortion stance is expected. What is not expected is non thinkers like Pauline Marois, the PQ leader, saying she was "...completely outraged..." by what buddy said. And 'A columnist with Montreal's La Presse newspaper, Patrick Lagace, said he wished that the Cardinal "dies from a long and painful illness.' Even Intergovernmental Affairs Minister Josee Verner -- whose international maternal-health policies the Cardinal supports -- declared that the man's remarks were 'unacceptable.'"

Pay attention.

The dude is the head man of the Roman Catholic church in Canada. The official policy of the Roman Catholic church is to be against abortion.

And y'all were surprised?


2326...The Difference Between BC And Ontario

Three letters.

H S T.

In Ontario our sales tax is going to go up to 13 per cent Canada Day; in British Columbia the same harmonized tax, HST, will make the hit at the cash register 12 per cent.

The difference is that in Ontario we seem to be taking it; in B.C. they are pissed and it could cost the Liberals their hold on power in Lotusland.

It is reported widely that former Premier Bill Vander Zalm has coalesced the people who are in opposition to the plan and it looks like he will be forcing a review of the HST.

In Ontario, nothing really, nothing.

Well, the NDP are b*tching but that is about it.

Ironically the Conservatives under Ted, no, wait, Tim Hudak, are sitting on their hands.


2325...A Pet's Ten Commandments

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me

3.. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

Take a moment today to thank God for your pets. Enjoy and take good care of them.

Life would be a much duller, less joyful experience without God's critters.

Now please pass this on to other pet owners. We do not have to wait for Heaven, to be surrounded by hope, love, and joyfulness.. It is here on earth and has four legs!


2324...Re Larry O'Brien Mayor Of Ottawa

Re my previous takes on Mr. O'Brien.

1. To win he has to run.

2. To win he has to have two credible candidates from centre left; Alex Cullen does not fit that bill.

3. I think he will run. I believe that he likes being a celebrity and that is what the mayor is.

4. Don't underestimate the power of being an incumbent. Mayor O'Brien wants in the paper/on radio/on TV it happens.

I believe that the universe, the amount of votes available, is about 300,000. It is my opinion that if Hizzoner runs he has 100,000 of those in the bag. If you don't believe me, listen to Lowell Green on CFRA. Virtually everyone over the age of 50 in Ottawa, like 90 per cent, will vote for Mr. O'Brien.

Fact is, if he runs and wins it will be another four crappy years for the capital. And don't forget the mayor of Gatineau, Marc Bureau, is not a superstar either.

If Ottawa had of voted in either Alex Munter or Bob Chiarelli last time we would have some sort of a rapid transit system. Under Mayor O'Brien we just paid for the train. Didn't get it though.

I am not cheering for him, in fact Jim Watson is my choice and I sincerely hope he is mayor for the next quarter century.

But I am pragmatic too.

And worried.

Ottawa is, to put it politely, a mess and four more years of Larry O'Brien is not going to help.


2323...He Has A Stylist?

Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s personal stylist is on the payroll of the Conservative Party of Canada.

Seriously, Mr. Harper has a stylist?

He looks like he has an eight dollar haircut and wears suits from the sales rack at Moore's.

Nonetheless a government source tells The Canadian Press Michelle Muntean’s full-time salary is not paid by Harper’s MP budget or by the Prime Minister’s Office.

Ms. Muntean used to be on the public payroll, but was transferred to the Conservative books in 2007.

The Prime Minister’s Office has kept her salary a secret. Out of embarrassment I would presume.

The Public Accounts of Canada List an M. Muntean travelling among the Prime Minister’s entourage at taxpayers expense for six trips abroad in 2008-2009 and five trips in both 2006-2007 and 2007-2008.

This is a joke, no?


2322...Habs Back Against It

It being the proverbial wall.

We have seen this movie before.


This spring.

Things could be worse.

The Habs could be Bruins.

Then they would be toast.


2321...Daddy Depression

Just leafing through the Journal of the American Medical Association this morning when I came upon a new study that estimates some dads get depressed when a new baby joins the family.

Turns out about 10 per cent of daddies are depressed immediately when a new one is introduced to the pack. Then in the period three to six months after the baby’s birth the rate of depression builds to 25 per cent.

This contrasts to numbers that show 13 per cent of mothers will experience postpartum depression within the first 12 weeks.


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

2320...Larry O'Brien Can Get Reelected Mayor

He can, he can.

Sure he sucks at the job and has cost your capital [and you] beaucoup d'argent but if Carl Robin Geary can win the mayor's job in Tracy City then Mayor Baldilocks can get reelected mayor of Ottawa.

Mr. Geary was running against the incumbent, Barbara Brock, and beat her handily 268 to 183 in the election held in the Tennessee town last month.

It was reported widely that a disappointed Miss Brock "...was also stunned by the surprise verdict, and she said that she had been appointed to the post, just 16 months ago, when the last elected mayor had passed away. She was expecting to win the election, as she thought she had done a good job, but she was rather shocked at the outcome."

The most shocking part to Miss Brock and other observers was the margin of victory and the fact that Mr. Geary, the new mayor, was, is and will be forever dead.

Gone with the wind.


May be that is a good campaign strategy for you, Mr. O'Brien.


2319...Anonymous Thoughts

Sue Sherring is a longtime city beat writer for one of the three daily's in Ottawa.

Miss Sherring wrote a piece a month or so ago about the demise of a nasty anonymous local blog in your nation's capital:

City Holler locked up

It appears that the City Holler blog has shut down for good.
A posting Wednesday night at 8:30 p.m. shows a lock with chains on it and the heading All Good Things.
Well, of course, all good things is a relative term.
The pro-Mayor Larry O'Brien blog saw most everything in black and white. Anything O'Brien did was good, anything anyone else did was bad.
In recent weeks, the blog took on mayoral candidate Jim Watson, poking fun at most anything and everything he did.
Not sad to see it go.
Anonymous blogs don't show much courage or strength of conviction.
Sue Sherring - Ottawa Sun - Sun in the City

I especially like the "Anonymous blogs don't show much courage or strength of conviction." line.


2318...L. Ian MacDonald Hits Nail On The Head

The point he makes in today's article in the Ottawa Citizen is that there are two Canada's.

One is centred around Parliament Hill and has about a one mile radius.

It is in that Canada that the Jaffer-Guergis bullsh*t counts and the Afghan cover-up does too.

In the other world, the world that 98 per cent of Canucks live in, Jaffer-Guergis are irrelevant and, as L.I.M. writes "... in the world of Tim Hortons, the Taliban are seen as the guys killing our guys. If some of them get roughed up by their own countrymen, how is that our problem? Again, outside Ottawa, no one cares about the paper trail."

That is why "The latest Nanos poll shows a four-point spread, 37-33 for the Conservatives over the Liberals, with the Tories up two points from the previous month. On the question of who would be the best prime minister, Stephen Harper leads Michael Ignatieff by 30 to 17 per cent." A vote from a Tim Horton's muffin muncher counts the same as those from the chattering classes.


2317...Mike Duffy Does It Again

Cut and paste from my mentor James Bowie's Bowie's Blog:

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Real Leaders Answer Questions from Kids

The Mike Duffy - PM Harper train wreck of a press event continued to careen out of control today with more and more kids coming forward saying their questions were screened and edited.

“The whole sideshow thing, I think that insulted me the most,” Ms. Raimey told The Globe today. “I was really upset by that. I find it extremely insulting because we are Canadians, too, and these issues are important to us. If our Prime Minister thinks they are sideshows – I mean this isn’t a government of one.”

Real leaders can answer the tough questions. Real leaders don't silence kids in the name of good optics. Real leaders don't need Mike Duffy to act as chaperon. But then again, we don't have a real leader for a Prime Minister right now, do we?

On the plus side one can be assured that at a Senator Michael Duffy event there will be both an open bar and one heckuva buffet.


2316...The Canadiens Can Stay Canadians

Down 1/0 in period two of game two and 1/0 in the series the Montreal Canadiens of the NHL nonetheless got some good news today: It doesn't look like their country is going to change anytime soon.

A new CROP poll, quoted by the Canadian Press and conducted for The Federal Idea, an upstart think tank, suggests an overwhelming number of Quebecers think the sovereignty debate is settled.

The poll shows that most Quebecers have come to terms with the constitutional status quo.


2315...CTV's Craig Oliver Tries To Be Funny

And pulls it off.

Craig's Take: Casting call for a Jaffer-Guergis movie

Craig Oliver, Chief Parliamentary Correspondent, CTV News

Date: Monday May. 17, 2010 9:10 PM ET

Some may remember the 1971 film comedy "The Gang that Couldn't Shoot Straight." In Ottawa these days we seem to have the gang that couldn't do anything right.

If there was any single theme that ran through the Guergis-Jaffer Affair, it would have been comic, except the many shades of darkness.

Despite a massive, well-connected effort by former Conservative MP Rahim Jaffer and his business partner, Nazim Gillani, they never got a red-cent in government contracts.

In fact, the prime minister might have been saved by those who he's often demeaned, the grey plotting federal bureaucrats. They saw right through the con-artistry and rejected all the multi-million dollar green schemes they were offered.

Had one of those civil servants handed over a big contract to Jaffer and Co., it would have landed the prime minister in big trouble. This week, the whole caper got even murkier and muddier.

Rolling up in a red Ferrari, Canada's own Sam Spade, who apparently was everybody's source on this story, testified to the Commons committee.

He talked of getaway cars and guns in the ribs and maligned just about everyone. He was one of a rich cast of characters right out of a Hollywood B movie.

For the sake of any casting directors who might actually want to make this film, here are my suggestions:

Jack Nicholson to play super snoop Derrick Snowdy. For Rahim Jaffer, who better than Michael Douglas, now doing a sequel to his film "Wall Street" with its infamous line, "Greed is good."

And what about that business partner who's facing charges of fraud and packing heat? I see him played by the quirky Christopher Walken, who always seems slightly off-centre; and for hapless Helena Guergis, who else but Paris Hilton?

So sit back, load up with popcorn and enjoy the film.


2314...Beer Beer Beer

A recent study found
the average Canadian walks
about 900 miles a year.

Another study found
Canadians drink,
on average,
22 gallons of beer a year.

That means,
on average,
Canadians get about 41 miles to the gallon.


2313...The Straw That Stirs The Drink Is 64 Today

Reggie Jackson is 64 today.

Ask your dad.

Or your mom.


2312...More Booze News

Health Canada first issued a warning against mixing energy drinks with alcohol in 2005.

Now, according to Sarah Schmidt in this morning's Ottawa Citizen, Health Canada has turtled.

"Health Canada has approved the sale of pre-mixed alcoholic energy drinks at liquor stores, despite having warned people not to the mix alcohol with the energy drinks they pick up from the corner store."

Sure, it is still unhealthy but if we sell it in the liquor stores in Our Home And Native Land we can make a retarded amount of money.


2311...I Am Good Until November 12, 2019

A recent study from the Harvard School of Public Health quoted in Macleans found that having one or two drinks a day can reduce the risk of heart disease in young adults.

I am soooooooooooooo far out ahead on this file.

So far.


2310...Strike Ends At Carlsberg Factory

This is the neatest labour story I have ever read.

MacLean's last month ran a thing about a five day strike at the Carlsberg beer factory in Copenhagen.

The issue was beer.

The deal was/is the workers got three free beers at lunch and the scrooges that run Carlsberg wanted to cut the number to one. One? WTF! One!

Management said it was something to do with productivity.


Monday, May 17, 2010

2309...Not My Fault Now Give Me 800,000 Dollars

Canuckistanian dollars.

That is what today's Toronto Star says Gabriella Nagy wants from Rogers.

What Ms. Nagy was doing was f*cking around on her husband; Rogers sent a combined bill to her and Mr. Her and he read the bill, saw a bunch of hour long calls to a number he didn't know, put 2 and 2 together and came up with adulteress and then: check please.

Ms. Nagy says that the breakup lead to her being depressed and losing her 100k a year job and and and it is not her fault it is Rogers fault so gimme some money.

The fact that she stepped out on her man; well if it wasn't for Rogers she wouldn't have got caught so it isn't her fault.


2308...And Then There Were Four

The current Boston Bruins joined the '42 Detroit Red Wings and the '75 Pittsburgh Penguins as the only teams to blow a three zip lead in a best of seven series.

The only other pro team in history to blow a 3/0 lead was the 2004 New York Yankees who imploded and lost the American League pennant to the Boston Red Sox.

C H O K E.


2307...The Healing Power Of Pig

If you are feeling fried [and we are coming into the May 24 weekend which is annual rite of drunkage, at least in my Ontario] from over imbibing the power of pig will save you.

That is what researchers in the United Kingdom have discovered. It is reported that they say that the cure for a hangover is the beauty that is a bacon sandwich. "Binging on alcohol depletes brain neurotransmitters but bacon, which is rich in protein, contains amino acids that top these up and make you feel better." That is what Elin Roberts at Newcastle University told the London Times.

Famed Brit chef Jamie Oliver backs Professor Roberts play. His cure for hangovers is a double portion of eggs and bacon.


2306...Be Careful When Hitting Send

Senior Constable Craig Goudy, 50 in Oz, is being investigated after accidentally sending an email calling locals in his area "fat, smelly f*ck wits", an email he thought he was sending to one of his friends.

ABC reports that instead he sent it to Murray Schoorman, who the good officer referred to in the email as having "grounds for mental impairment." Mr. Schoorman is a paralegal and now lawyers and lawsuits are flying every which way but loose.

So be careful, k?


2305...Cheap As These Things Go

La Coupe Stanley.

Or maybe it is "Le".

I was sick that day.

Lord Stanley's Cup, the won being chased by the Habs and the Flyers and the Hawks and the Sharks, stands three feet high and weighs about 35 pounds. It was crafted in Sheffield, England and purchased for about 48 dollars in 1892. Using an online inflation calculator I discovered that 48 1892 bux is only 1100 and a bit in today's money.


As in inexpensive.

Soooooooooooooooooo if you want to become a legacy...


2304...Remedial Media

From the MYFM website. MYFM btw is a cluster of stations in Renfrew County, Ontario. This is cut and pasted directly from their news page.

According to the annual study released by the Frasier institute Jeanne Lajoie is the top ranked highschool in Renfrew County. The report ranks 722 English and French, public, and Catholic secondary schools from across the province on eight indicators from provincewide tests of literacy and mathematics skills administered by the Education Quality and Accountability Office. Overall county high schools maintained the middle ground with scores ranging from Jean Lajoie's 7.6 out of 10 -good enough for the 105th spot province wide- to 5 out of 10 for Bishop Smith Catholic High school the lowest ranking in the county at 555th of 722. Both school boards have distanced themselves from the study saying it doesn't really help student performance to compare schools using only a narrow set of data.

Note to MYFM: "Frasier" is spelt "Fraser". Like the river; like the valley.

Perhaps the genius that wrote this went to the 722nd best high school in Ontario.


Saturday, May 15, 2010

2303...Bum Marketing

As in any other line of work, being a beggar/pan handler/bum, sorry, being a successful beggar/pan handler/bum, requires a modicum of marketing.

Check the news from 7Denver who report that a "A man who police said was naked except for a pair of woman's thong panties he was wearing on his head is the first person arrested under Boulder's new public nudity law."

His name is Glenn Ford, he is 55 and, hard to believe, he was drunk at the time of his alleged malefeasance.


2302...See It Is Not Just Air Canada

That sucks.

No, its all of them.

A big fail for United who locked a blind 18 year old Courtney, British Columbia woman in one of their planes in Chicago.

CBC BC tells the story of Jessica Cabot, blind since birth, is not sure she'll ever fly alone again after she was forgotten by flight attendants and locked in a deserted plane at Chicago's O'Hare Airport.

The deal is she was flying United from Van to Jacksonville, Florida and supposed to be guided to her connecting flight to Florida.

She was understandably freaked out when she was abandoned and was found ten minutes later by a cleaning crew.

United has come through hugely with a two hundred and fifty dollar credit on her next flight which I would think would be never.


2301...Quick Thought Re Guergis

I think if this were the States the Honourable Helena Guergis would be getting lined up for a radio talk show, first locally in Ottawa and Simcoe-Grey and then nationally.

Radio is not as competitive as it is in the States, especially in smaller markets which often have only one or two sticks but she is a perfect pick up for a floundering station like Oldies1310 in Ottawa which is a bottom dweller in the ratings.

Just a thought.


2300...How Do You Spell Choke?

B R U I N S.


2299...Looking On The Bright Side

Re Helena Guergis.

At least Mr. Harper didn't have her shot.

A different time, a different place, a different outcome.