Tuesday, November 30, 2010

3165...Coolest Urn Ever

Front page news in La Belle this day, and page A3 of today's Ottawa Citizen, was info on future Hall of Famer Pat Burns funeral in Montreal.

The coolest thing is the great man's urn.

It is a model of the Stanley Cup, which he won with Jersey.


3164...I Love My Dog

So much. Her name is Mara and she is the prettiest, most fun Lab in the world. She will be a year old on December 13th and I am crazy mad in love with her.

Not as much in love with though as other dog partners.

Take Wade Strickland. He is a 62 year old resident of Los Angeles and NBC LA reports that he has been placed on three years' probation for having sex with his dog, a female German shepherd mix.

Here is where it gets weird.

He was arrested by the police Animal Cruelty Task Force on February 2 after he was seen sexually violating the dog beneath a freeway overpass. You know, in public. Bad enough that he is, er, intercoursing the puppy but in plain sight?

He got three years probation, cannot own a pet during that time and has to go to counselling.

The German shepard was not available for comment.


3163...Stop Ou Arreter

Cranston, Rhode Island, is a town of 80,000 people, about the size of Kingston.

A safety minded resident or residents of that town has put up 700 unauthorized stop signs in the city. Actually that is only part of the story "...as WPRI-TV reports, [city officials] say they've only partially solved the mystery of who put up nearly 700 stop signs that hadn't gotten proper approval. State Department of Transportation officials have said their workers were responsible for about one-third of the signs. The other two-thirds? A spokeswoman for the mayor says many may have been installed by city residents."

Question One: Where does one go to buy a stop sign?

Question Two: Are they valid, like, dya have to stop?

I don't have the answer for Question One but the answer to Question Two, direct from the mayor's office, is that "drivers ... should not take this as a free pass. A stop sign is a stop sign."


3162...You Think YOU Had A Bad Day

A 21-year-old southeast Missouri man is expected to face charges after being arrested twice in the same day for possessing marijuana.

The Sikeston Standard Democrat reports that the man was first arrested five minutes after midnight Sunday at the Caruthersville Community Center. Police say they found several baggies of marijuana and several hundred dollars.

At 11:10 p.m., the same man was stopped for improper vehicle registration. Police say a search of his vehicle found several baggies of marijuana.

The suspect's name has not been released.


3161...Next Wednesday Is Tomorrow

Scott Bradley, Liberal candidate for Ottawa Centre wants you to help him help the Ottawa Snowsuit Fund and the Shine Music Foundation.

Plus you can win a trip to Vegas direct from Uplands via Westjet.

A pair of bands lined up to get you in the Christmas. The (almost legendary) 20th Century Boys will again be playing hosts for the event and take the stage at 8 to get the night rocking. They'll be followed, fresh off their Hintonburg Hootenanny gig, by the audibly authentic "The Middlemen" - just after 9:30. Good times, recognizable music!

Tickets are $10 at the door, $5 for students, and 100% of the proceeds go to charity.

As a veteran of these events I have discovered that the more one drinks the better the 20th Century Boys sound.


3160...Dan Lett Explains All

He scribbles for the Winnipeg Free-Press and he summed up Monday's bye election action thusly:

The Tories captured the last in a series of right-leaning suburban seats in Ontario. And it was the indefatigable Lamoureux, not the Liberal Machine, that triumphed in Winnipeg North. You can search for greater meaning in these results -- and Lord knows, we in the media will keep looking -- but it's not really there.

The sky is not falling. Unless you are Jack Layton.


3159...This Is Why You Should Say Hi In The Halls

Of your apartment building.

So you don't spend three weeks trapped in the toliet.

ABC, the Oz ABC, reported last week that "French firefighters have freed a 69-year-old woman who spent three weeks trapped in her bathroom."

She became stuck after the bathroom door lock broke.

Police said the woman, who is recuperating in hospital, survived by drinking warm water from the bathroom tap and at night tried to call for help by tapping on piping but her concerned neighbours thought somebody was doing home unauthorized home repair and launched a petition to find out who it was and to have it stopped.

All though all tenants profess love for the unnamed woman, they didn't think to knock on her door for three weeks, that is 21 days and beaucoup de hours.

I have to think the unnamed woman was quite the b*tch.


Monday, November 29, 2010

3158...And A Partridge In A Pear Tree

It wouldn't be the Christmas Season® without the obligatory "cost of the items in the 12 Days of Christmas" article. Costs are up over 10% from last year at just under $100,000 because homeless people ate all the partridges.

The list is outstripping inflation according to a piece the Associated Press ran over the weekend:

Trying to buy the 364 items repeated in all the song's verses — from 12 drummers drumming to a partridge in a pear tree — would cost $96,824, an increase of 10.8 percent over last year, according to the annual Christmas Price Index compiled by PNC Wealth Management.

So you might want to try for one of everything. That would cost only $23,439, or 9.2 percent more than last year.

The 27th annual holiday index has historically mirrored the national Consumer Price Index, but not this year. The PNC Christmas Price Index grew 9.2 percent from last year, compared with just a 1.1 percent increase in the much broader Consumer Price Index.

I think I will stick with Giant Tiger.


3157...Well, They Gotta Get Around, Eh?

And bus service, non peak, is pretty bad in Ottawa and worse in Gatineau.

Glen McGregor in the Ottawa Citizen reports that "...newly released records show Conservative cabinet ministers and their aides have spent more than $1.3 million on taxis since taking office."

Actually it is mostly staffers coz cabinet ministers have cars and drivers.

Just a thought but wouldn't a motor pool be cheaper in the long run? Plus they wouldn't have to put their lives in peril in an Ottawa taxi.

A lot of the cab rides were apparently short runs, I figure under ten bucks, which means a lot of staffers are lazy f*cks. It would take longer to take a cab from DND to The Hill than walk there, considering the Blue Line policy of taking forever to dispatch a taxi.


3156...Almost Forgot

With all my attention focused on Vaughn and the other two federal bye-elections this day I totally forgot that not only Michael Ignatieff's balls are on the line today but so are Pauline Marois.

Ms. Marois is, for those of you in the ROC, the leader of the Parti Quebecois and as Chantal Hebert points out in this morning's Toronto Star "Monday's must-watch by-election vote is taking place not in one of the three federal seats at play in Manitoba and Ontario, but rather in the Quebec provincial riding of Kamouraska-Témiscouata. If Parti Québécois Leader Pauline Marois does not do well in a massively francophone riding at a time when the popularity of Premier Jean Charest is at an all-time low, she will be hard-pressed to survive a leadership review set for next spring."

Word is that if the PQ gets smoked tonight Gilles Duceppe's wife will be at the liquor store tomorrow getting boxes in preparation for her old man moving his base from Ottawa to the other National Capital, the one without the NHL team, Quebec City.

Provincially the PQ have a fifteen point lead on the PLQ but in the bye-election, according to Ms. Hebert, it could go either way.


3155...Merry Christmas/Please Stop The Music

Or write new songs.

We need a law.



3154...Sometimes You Can Have It All

The Montreal Alouettes won the Grey Cup.


The Saskatchewan Roughriders covered.


And it stayed under.


The perfect storm.


3153...E Day

In three ridings in Canuckistan.

The one of interest, at least to moi, is the battle in Vaughn.

Will the voters in Vaughn do the right thing and vote for Liberal Tony Genco or will we add another pair of jackboots to the Stephen Harpers, this time worn by Julian Fantino.


3152...Conservative Dies

Presumably Leslie Nielson was a Blue; his brudder Erik was, among other things, opposistion house leader back in the day.

It is widely reported that the clueless funnyman passed in Florida on Sunday.

A double whack for Regina yesterday, losing the Grey Cup and losing their most famous native son.



Sunday, November 28, 2010

3151...Porn In A Cup

The New York Daily News reports that porn on a cup is available in Crown Heights, New York City.

What it is a Dieci, ten shots of espresso in one cup, available exclusively at The Pulp & Bean.

This gives quite a jolt, so much so that Mr. Fisher won't sell it to anyone over 40.


3150...Grey Cup Tonight From Edmonton

Saskatchewan and Montreal in a rematch of last year's nail biter.

Like most football fans I will be watching the NFL.

Go Als.


3149...And U Thought Ur Student Loan Was Wack

Take war, take the big One, WWI.

Report On Business tells that Germany, who were ordered under the terms of the 1919 Treaty of Versailles to pay 64 000 000 000 . 00, that is 64 bill, made its final payment of 97 000 000 . 00, 97 mill, in October.

The Germans actually only paid 36 bill before the books were closed.

Now I suppose they move onto the other big one, WWII.


Saturday, November 27, 2010

3148...Imagine: They Are Letting Us Down

They are of course the folks with the power, the government, the cops, the judges, the SIU.

Here is Randall Denley, a rather prominent figure in Ottawa who has been one of the go to writers for the Ottawa Citizen for eons, and here is what he wrote in today's paper:

Ottawa is in an uproar over the way police treated the now famous [sic] Stacy Bonds, and rightly so. Just don't expect much to come of it. The "justice" system is already showing that it places protecting its own above protecting the public.

The provincial attorney general is the one who should be doing something about the way the system handled the forceful strip search of the diminutive Ottawa woman, but that would mean admitting the Crown got this wrong.

A spokesman for Attorney General Chris Bentley says the Bonds case has been reviewed by the province's chief prosecutor, who has determined that it was reasonable to take it to court. That despite Judge Richard Lajoie's ruling that the arrest of Bonds was unlawful, her detention violated Charter rights and the case was a "travesty."

Rather than create an independent review of the Crown's actions, Bentley turned to the subordinate in charge of prosecution and asked him if he thought his people acted properly. What a surprise that he would say yes.

The province's Special Investigations Unit is investigating, but the Bonds matter actually falls outside the organization's mandate, which allows it to look at matters involving death, sexual assault or serious injury. There was no serious injury in the Bonds case and it would probably be pushing it to describe what occurred as a sexual assault.

The SIU is likely to conclude that there is nothing it can do.

The matter will then be placed back in the hands of police Chief Vern White, who is likely to call in another force to investigate.

Given the Crown's stance up to now, it will be difficult to recommend charges against the officers involved, even if a police investigation suggests they are warranted. The Crown saw the same videotape that everyone else has now seen and determined that it was Bonds who should be charged, not the police officers.

The images of four male police officers forcing Bonds to the floor before the officer in charge cut her clothes off might seem outrageous to the public and the judge who tossed out the charge against Bonds, but the Crown has never identified a problem with what took place. The conduct of individual police officers in this case fell well below the standard that we should expect, but the Crown's failure to perceive it is the most shocking element of this whole sorry situation.

A reasonable person, let alone an experienced Crown attorney, should have expressed concern to Chief White about the officers' conduct. Nothing was said, even though Bonds' defence lawyer raised concerns with the actions caught on tape. Two years after the event, the Crown was still arguing in front of a judge that the police officers were, in effect, the victims.

If the Crown were to take the opposite view now and charge the officers, it would mean admitting the Crown attorney's office had been negligent in the first place. That's an unlikely course, especially now that their boss Bentley has backed them up. This has now become a political matter.

Despite his attorney general's support for the Crown prosecutors, Premier Dalton McGuinty on Friday made a wishy-washy statement about maybe reviewing the Bonds affair to see if something could be learned from it. That's not nearly good enough. The point was further amplified by the news Friday that two more cases have been thrown out because of similar police behaviour.

In effect, the attorney general is saying it's OK to arrest a woman on the flimsiest of pretexts, manhandle her, strip search her in disregard of guidelines established by the Supreme Court, toss her in a cell half-naked, then charge her with assaulting police. It's an outrageous position.

The system simply isn't working. The Crown attorneys are the ones who are supposed to determine whether charges are in the public interest and if there is a reasonable prospect of conviction. They are meant to offer sober second thought and to prevent people being hauled into court simply on the say-so of the police. They haven't done their job properly. Neither has the attorney general.

At this point, Dalton McGuinty is the only person who can restore some sanity to the system. The last thing the embattled premier needs is another controversy, but it's time for an independent investigation and maybe even a new attorney general.

The people give enormous powers to the police and the Crown with the trust that they will use those powers wisely. The Bonds incident has called that trust into question. Restoring the public's faith is essential. This isn't a situation where the people in charge can shrug and drive on.

Contact Randall Denley at rdenley@ottawacitizen.com or 613-596-3756.

We aren't hearing anything from anywhere really are we? And when they f*ck with Miss Bonds rights they f*ck with yours.


3147...Christie Blatchford Turns On Julian Fantino

The sorta esteemed columnist for the Globe and Mail had this to say for the missing in action Tory candidate in Monday's bye-election in Vaughn:

In this regard, I’m afraid, Mr. Fantino seems a sadly good fit for a party whose approach to law-and-order strikes me increasingly as cartoonish.

Earlier this year, for instance, Ottawa did away with two-for-one credits for time served in jail by those who are merely accused and awaiting trials, a dopey move which has only resulted in ever-more crowded prisons, and also shut down a farm at the Frontenac Institution in Kingston, removing one of the few genuinely gentling forces to which prisoners might be exposed – animals.

A good fit for the cartoonish Stephen Harpers.


3146...Who Speaks For Stacey Bond?

She is the young woman who two years and two plus months ago was both wrongfully arrested and roughed up by the Ottawa Police Service.

Not allegedly, but for true.

If you wanna see for yourself: http://www.cultureclashdaily.com/page1111194.php

Now if this was the United States of A you know, know that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and other leaders of the Black community would be all over this story. Where is the Black leadership on this story? Why aren't they in front and all over this story?

I will tell you why. I know a bunch of these supposed community leaders in your capital and they are the kind of community leaders who want to have networking events, eat canapes, waar really cool hats but never, ever, ever want to rock the boat.



3145...Sun TV Is A Go

Or is it SUN TV?

Anyhow there will be another news voice in English Canada next year, with Jamie Spurgeon in the Financial Post reporting that "The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission said Sun TV News has been granted a five-year Category 2 broadcast licence, meaning Quebecor must negotiate with distributors such as Rogers Communications Inc. and Telus Corp. to have the controversial specialty channel picked up on their systems -- with no guarantees it will be."

The formal launch will be in March of next year which means for sure by Canada Day.


3144...Happy Holiday

Today is National Buy From A Small Business Day.

How do I know this?


I am watching the Boise State/Nevada football game on ESPN America which is the British/European arm of ESPN and they are showing the ESPN feed of this game between number 4 Boise and 19th ranked Nevada. I am watching it online through atdhe.net through CastAmp.

So, even though today is National Buy From A Small Business Day, I am not sure if Canada is covered. Just in case I am going to run to the local bagel shop after the game; good idea to get some carbs in before going to sleep, eh?


3143...Dream McWedding In A Dream Location

It was Big Macs, chicken nuggets and fries at a wedding banquet in Monterry, Mexico yesterday.

Reuters reports that fast-food fanatics Carlos Munoz and Marisela Matienzo tied the knot at a McDonald's in an upscale district of Monterrey.

"Some of our guests thought it was a joke. Our parents were resigned to it," Miss Matienzo said. The wedding was the first in a Latin American McDicks. Getting married under the golden arches is a custom that has already taken off in Hong Kong for people seeking to depart from traditional marriage protocols.


Friday, November 26, 2010

3142...CFL Wants Sask To Win Grey Cup

That is what Matthieu Proulx and Etienne Boulay, safeties with the Montreal Alouettes, told CKAC-AM, Montreal's french all-sports station, Thursday.

They claim that the Green Riders got the better hotels, the better dressing rooms, the better everything.

They say that they and their teammates have got over the disses and intend to bring the Grey Cup to Montreal for the second season in a row.


3141...Wanna Play Pro Soccer/Football?

Contact Alan Davenport on 01736 330611.

He is the manager/club secretary for Mining Football League Division One side Madron who play out of Oxland Parc in Cornwall.

And they be terrible. They lost last week 55-0 to Illogan RBL; the week before they lost 27 zip to Trevenson United.

Interestingly they are not in last place in DI in the MFL.


3140...Dick Cheney Nails Barack Obama

Right in the kisser.

For twelve stiches.

At least that who was my first suspect when I read in the Wall Street Journal that the President had got whacked in the face playing hoop with his boyz.

Turned out that the offender was Rey Decerega, director of programs for the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute. "I learned today the president is both a tough competitor and a good sport," Mr. Decerega said in a statement released by the White House. "I enjoyed playing basketball with him this morning. I'm sure he'll be back out on the court again soon."

In a related story, Mr. Decerega has been named the first ambassador to Antartica.


3139...Ravens In The House

Men and women.

At Carleton.

It is Lakehead and McMaster as this weekends victims.

Look for me in the black sombrero.


3138...Bonhomme Carnival Lobbies Our PM

All the Michelin Man's cousin wants is 180 000 000 . 00 of your dollars so they can build a hockey rink to house a [soon to be] failed NHL team in it.

The Globe and Mail reports that Bonhomme Carnaval was in Ottawa for a photo opportunity with our beloved leader and the mascot of the Quebec City Winter Carnival applied some gentle pressure during a photo op with Stephen Harper in his wood-panelled Parliament Hill office.

"I'm not sure if you've heard lately," said the mascot with the muffled voice, "but [Quebec City] is an excellent town for winter sports."

In English he said that. I thought that it was bad form for mascots to talk and for a Quebec City mascot to speak Anglais, OMG.

"The meeting came just weeks after a picture of Bonhomme toting a cash-stuffed suitcase appeared on the cover of Maclean's."


3137...Julian Fantino Bully

Imagine, a police chief being a bully.

He will fit in nicely with the Stephen Harpers.

Linda Diebel in the Toronto Star opens today's piece on the bye election in Vaughn thusly:

Meeting Conservative Julian Fantino last month on the hustings for the upcoming Vaughan by-election didn't go as Liberal Tony Genco expected. He'd imagined pleasantries between competing candidates. Not quite. “I gave him my best wishes,” Genco told the Star, “and he told me some of my signs were too close to his campaign headquarters so he'd had his people take them down.” “I was totally surprised,” said Genco. “I asked him if he would please give them back — they're expensive, you know — but he didn't respond.” Genco apparently never did get his signs back — an example, according to his critics, of the arrogance of a former top cop who's used to doing what he pleases.

If you track the Great Fantino's career you will note that he fails his way to the top.

Fails as London's top copper becomes Toronto's top cop; fails as Toronto's top copper becomes Ontario's top cop and [if elected]; fails as Ontario's top copper and becomes part of the inner circle in Regime Stephen Harper where he can do some real damage.


Thursday, November 25, 2010

3136...How Could I Forget?

It is Thanksgiving.

Must be the turkey.


3135...Stephen Harper Hates On Alberta

Too much money needed to support Edmonton's bid for the World's Fair in 2017.

The Stephen Harpers rationale is that the blew too much cash in Van on the Olympics and Toronto on the G8/G20 summits.

Plus you could run Karla Homolka as a Tory in Alberta and they would vote for her.

You got their vote Team Blue; no need to respect them too.


3134...Dogs Smarter Than Cats

Metronews' Paul Sullivan reports that Oxford University, the one in Merry Ole, has studied 500 species of critters and have figgered out that social animals, dogs, are smarter than solitary animals, cats.

This of course means we have a new winner in the who gives a f&ck category.


3133...Bye Bye Bye

The bye that is going bye bye is Newf Premier Danny Williams.

Brilliant and ballsy he will be missed.

Methinks that he won't be gone forever.


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

3132...Elect The Senate

You cannot get 69 per cent of Canadians to agree on anything except that we should have an elected Senate.

Tonda Charles in today's Toronto Star also reports that the latest Angus Reid poll on the subject tells that "Sixty-three per cent support a nationwide referendum to decide the future of the Senate. The same number would support eight-year limits for Senate terms, while just 30 per cent would like to see the upper chamber abolished altogether, a number that includes 43 per cent of Quebecers. Many are pessimistic about reform, with 35 per cent convinced there will never be an elected Senate."

Personally I am with the 35 per cent that are convinced that there will never be; Cash For Life is too attractive for both the Tories and the Liberals.


3131...Is Julian Fantino In Witness Protection?

The former police chief of everywhere who, if elected in Vaughn Monday, will, shudder, become a Stephen Harper point man on crime in the cabinet, isn't showing up for anything.

Which makes one think, perhaps?

Dan Robson in the Toronto Star opens today's piece this way: "A microphone and an empty chair sat behind Julian Fantino's name at a debate for candidates vying to take Vaughan's seat in the coming federal by-election.

The Conservative candidate was, again, unable to attend because of previous commitments."

And this time his excuse is right up there with "...the dog ate my homework..." Mr. Fantino "...told a [Vaughn] Citizen reporter that he had to attend a memorial mass with his family."

If it smells like bullsh*t and it sounds like bullsh*t it must be bullsh*t.


3130...Speaking Of Travel

All the coverage of the Grey Cup is going to focus on how loyal the Saskatchewan Roughrider fans are, how they are the 13th man, how they follow their team from coast to Montreal.

As Stephen Brunt writes in the Globe and Mail today "...Riders fans...embrace it in a way that other followers of Canadian football do not. They get into their cars...planes..descend on the host city..."

You are so right Mr. Brunt but what you and the other scribblers have to keep in mind, and I lived and loved living in Saskatchewan for two years, that any excuse to get out of Saskatchewan, you take.


3129...Biggest Travel Day Of The Year Is Today

In America that is.

It is all in prep for the biggest holiday, Thanksgiving and the biggest shopping day, Black Friday.

I hope the strip searches at US airports doesn't slow anyone down.

As if.


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

3128...The Most Famous Canuck In The World Is

Pam Anderson.

She is making big waves in India this week and the Toronto Star reports that she may be too hot for Indian TV.

The Canadian bombshell has caused ratings of the Indian TV show Bigg Boss (similar to Big Brother) to shoot through the roof this week, just as the show caught the eye of the Indian government.

On Wednesday, Indian officials ordered the show to be moved to after 11 p.m. from prime time due to “objectionable” content. On Thursday, a high court reversed the decision until a Nov. 22 hearing.

The complaints don’t stem from anything Canada's Centennial Baby has done, but from events that occurred before her arrival, including a female housemate dropping her towel, an intimate kissing scene and abusive language.

She is due to leave the program Friday. The other houseguests were unaware of her arrival.

Anderson had picked up some phrases in Hindi, the only language the house guests speak. By Thursday’s show, the actress had learned a traditional Hindi dance.

This is not Anderson’s first foray into reality television. In 2008, she was on the Australian version of Big Brother. She also had her own reality show, Pam: Girl on the Loose.

Anderson is the second westerner to appear on Bigg Boss. The first was Jade Goody — a veteran of the British version of Big Brother — who left the show after she received her fatal cancer diagnosis.


3127...The Don Cherry Seal Of Approval

Jane Taber reported in this morning's Globe and Mail that failed hockey coach and Hockey Night in Canada mega-star, Don Cherry, who is both the most loved and loathed personality in Our Home And Native Land, is endorsing Julian Fantino in Monday's bye-election in Vaughn.

"'There are not enough words to describe how much respect I have for Julian Fantino,' the Hockey Night in Canada commentator writes. 'He is honest, brave and always there for the ordinary guy. A class act and someone who will never let you down. He tells it like it is.'"

Mr. Fantino was not available for comment. He is never available for comment.


3126...Hey You Have To Give Conservatives Points

They, for some unknown reason, tend to have hotter women in the trenches.

Mrs. Rahim Jaffer; Italy's Mara Carfagna and; Anne Coulter, to mention three.

I now offer you Megyn Kelly. TVNewser learns that “America Live” anchor Megyn Kelly is in the 2010 GQ Men of the Year issue, which hit newsstands this week. The talking head is the only TVNewser to be selected for the 2010 media personality.

Sincerity is always subject to proof. Google her.

Last year, the only TVNewser in the issue was “The Daily Show”’s Olivia Munn. Miss Munn, who has had over 10 000 000 watch the You Tube of her eating a weiner, started at FOX btw.

Can hardly wait for Sun to happen.


Monday, November 22, 2010

3125...A Reality Star Before Reality TV Dies

Cut and paste from WLS-AM 890.

MILWAUKEE (AP) - A former Milwaukee police officer and Playboy Club bunny who gained national notoriety after she was convicted of murder and then escaped from prison has died in Oregon. Lawrecia ' Laurie ' Bembenek was 52.
Bembenek was convicted in 1982 of fatally shooting her police detective husband's ex-wife and sentenced to life in prison. She escaped in 1990 and fled to Canada.
Supporters cheered her flight, selling "Run Bambi Run" T-shirts and bumper stickers.
Bembenek was captured but later released after pleading no contest to second-degree murder. Her story was made into a TV movie starring Tatum O'Neal.
Bembenek's attorney Mary Woehrer says she died Saturday at a hospice care center in Portland, Ore. Woehrer says the cause of death was liver failure.

Back in the early part of the century, 2003, she was slated to go on Dr. Phil. As Yahoo reported then "The strange saga of Bembenek - one of America's most notorious prison escapees - got even stranger last November when she flew to California to appear on the "Dr. Phil" show. The show had agreed to foot the $20,000 bill for DNA tests that Laurie insisted would clear her name in the 1981 murder of her then-husband's ex-wife.

But when Bembenek, 45, and her boyfriend arrived in Los Angeles, her tempestuous life took yet another horrific turn. Dr. Phil's handlers stashed Bembenek in an apartment hideaway that had no contact with the outside world because they wanted to keep her from finding out the DNA results before her TV appearance, according to her lawsuit.

After spending eight years in prison, Bembenek said being confined triggered a panic attack. She tried to lower herself out a window, but plunged 12 feet to the ground. Bembenek suffered a severed artery, plus broken bones in her leg and foot. Eventually, her right leg was amputated several inches below the knee."

Last month Mike Jacobs of TODAY'S TMJ4 in Milwaukee interviewed her. He asked her to rate her life from 1 to 10; her reply was a sad 2.



3124...Boomers Are Unhappy With Their Sex Lives

Baby boomers are the age group unhappiest of any age group about their sex lives. That is what a new Associated Press-LifeGoesStrong.com poll discovered.

Of course boomers, born between 1945 and 1964, are unhappy with their sex lives.

Unless they are rock stars they are having sex with old people.


3123...Central Canadian Premiers Are

Not very well liked.

The front page of The Ottawa Citizen blared the news that it looks like the voters of Ontario have completed the turn on Premier McGuinty and will elect Tim Harris-Hudak next fall.

Yesterday The Canadian Press reported that "An online petition calling for Quebec Premier Jean Charest's resignation has amassed more than 200,000 signatures. The petition, tabled by an opposition member and posted on the legislature's website, has been up since last Monday."

And you thought y o u had a bad weekend.


3122...The Obama Of The 20th Century

Was murdered on this day in 1963 in Dallas.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy was the first Roman Catholic, first Irishman, first Irish Roman Catholic to be elected President of the United States.

His election in 1960 was as momumentous and earth shattering as Barack Obama's pick up in 2008.


Sunday, November 21, 2010

3121...VPD Steps Up

Police in Vancouver are urging citizens to be on lookout for a mugger last seen wearing a Vancouver Curling Club coat and white toque. Hockey rinks, Tim Hortons shops on high alert.

In all seriousness the fact is that, as The Vancouver Sun reports, crimes perpetuated upon seniors are rife in Vancouver, so frequent that the VPD in 2008, prompted by an increase in crimes that targeted older and less-abled people, launched an undercover sting in the downtown east side.

Ten people were arrested in the exercise dubbed "Operation Oldtimer" which you can search on You Tube.


3120...We May Want To Take Over Ireland Too

As you probably know the Irish have f*cked up yet again. "The island is one of the most economically troubled places in the developed world, as the European Union and the International Monetary Fund prepare a financial rescue package and accompanying draconian fiscal measures."

May be we could annex Eire and have to big eastern provinces, Greenland and Ireland.

Not just a thought but a project for Loyola Hearn, a good Catholic boy from Newfoundland who was a fisheries minister in the current government for a bit. The Globe and Mail yesterday also mentioned that Mr. Hearn may best be known as a key member of a team of emissaries who helped negotiate the union of the Progressive Conservative and Canadian Alliance parties, merging the two right wing groups into today's governing Conservative Party.


3119...Why Don't We Take Over Greenland?


It would be cool to have another province and I am sure it would work for them plus Nuuk, their capital, would be a great cosmopolitan centre for the North and Inuit and like minded peoples.

Sure Denmark would probably be pissed but I am sure Stephen Harper could show them something something, eh?

Yes, I am brilliant.


Saturday, November 20, 2010

3118...Happy Trans Gender Day To You

Today is the day and there was cake at the Ottawa Cop Shop as the GLBTG community celebrated.

If u are progressive enough to not fear girls who act and dress like boys and boys who act and dress like girls support Bill C-389 which aims to add gender identity and expression to the Canadian Human Rights Act.

Eat cake.


3117...50 000 th NHL Game Ce Soir


And it is the two oldest franchises, Montreal and Toronto, that will play that monumental game tonight at the Bell Centre in Montreal.

Postmedia tells all that the Minister of Sporty things, Gary Lunn, will present a plaque to the prez of the most successful NHL team ever, Pierre Boivin. That team of course is the Habs.


Friday, November 19, 2010

3116...Now They May Say He Is Dead

Pat Burns.

Gatineau boy.




3115...Italian PM Pays 70 000 Euros For New Penis

You know it pays to shop around; mine only cost 8 900.

The Italian newspaper La Republicca reported yesterday that the country's Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, has forked out 70,000 euros to add a new phallus to a statue to Mars which he has displaying in his office.

Traditional restoration techniques were apparently ignored in the procedure, possibly coz they were not expensive enough, which was expressly commissioned by the Italian leader.

The statue, on loan from the Terme di Diocleziano museum, now has a new body part which, according to architect Mario Catalano, can be added and removed as required.

Just like mine.


3114...Apparently It Is That Time Of Year

The Salvation Army has invaded the malls.

If you can afford it, give.

If you need it, take.


3113...Drug Test Sarah Palin


As you read in WFDS Post 3104...Democracy Prevails Over Sarah Palin, the former Miss Smalltown Alaska doesn't have enough clout in her own state to prevent a write-in candidate winning.

CNN reports that "During an interview for an upcoming Barbara Walters special, Palin said 'I believe so,' when Walters asked Palin 'If you ran for president, could you beat Barack Obama?'" She replied that "I'm looking at the lay of the land now, and ... trying to figure that out, if it's a good thing for the country, for the discourse, for my family, if it's a good thing.".

She be high.

CNN also reports that "In a lengthy interview for a profile in this weekend's New York Times magazine, the former Alaska governor flatly said she is considering launching a White House bid and is currently in discussions about the possibility with her family and trusted allies. 'I'm engaged in the internal deliberations candidly, and having that discussion with my family, because my family is the most important consideration here,' she said in the interview with journalist Robert Draper, now posted on the New York Times Web site.

She be very high.


3112...Breast Exams Are Important

Just have them done by a doctor.

In a doctor's office.

Not a bar.

The Associated Press says that "Police arrested a woman in Idaho's capital city after they say she impersonated a plastic surgeon and conducted breast exams on at least two women in local bars."

Seriously, examinees, give your head a shake.


Thursday, November 18, 2010

3111...The Biggest Story In Your Capital This Day

This week.

This month.

Perhaps this year.

It is the story of a statistic that became front page news in Ottawa.

The stat is a terrifying one.

The Globe and Mail reported in today's paper that "Suicide is the second leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds and among 10- to 14-year-old girls, according to the most recent figures from Statistics Canada. In 2007, 508 youths committed suicide in Canada, with many more attempting it."

The reason that teen suicide is front page news in Ottawa is because the daughter of one of the Princes of the city, and that truly is what Ottawa Senator hockey players are in this town, Bell's Corners boy Luke Richardson's 14 year old daughter Daron, killed herself last Friday.

Instead of taking their pain to a private place, which most would do and none would blame them for, Mr. Richardson and his family took a different tact. The result "...a rare public memorial service for a teenage suicide victim – 5,600 people in Ottawa's professional hockey arena. [Becuz of this] Suicide, particularly the suicide of the young, is no longer the taboo it has been.

That is an extraordinary liberation from an age-old silence and its twin, shame. And now that Canadians can talk about it – can say, openly, that they worry that their children may take their lives, that they need to know what to do to reach their children, and if the worst happens, to be able to grieve openly, and share any lessons they've learned – how do we begin to use our new-found freedom to prevent suicide?"

That is the question and it is a pointed and difficult one.

From my vantage point and the vantage point of many in this world Daron Richardson had it all. She was beautiful, a great athlete, going to the best school in a town where her dad has been a hero since his teens. But deep inside her was a darkness that she could not illuminate.

Like Richard Cory she took her life.

Hopefully her passing will save many who are going down the same dark road.



3110...Wise Words For Liberals

From Denise Brunsdon.

I don't know the woman except to see her; wouldn't know her voice if I heard it but I do know her reputation. Her reputation is that of a smart young Liberal who is both socially aware and aware of retail politics. If memory serves Ms. Brunsdon worked in the Prime Minister's Office of the last decent PM our Canada has had, Paul Martin.

The heading on her Facebook account is both to the point and painfully accurate:

Dear Privileged Liberals: please stop getting offended on behalf of minority groups of which you are not a part. It's tired and annoying. And if it worked electorally, then we'd be in power already.

We aren't the other; the other are the other.

Rob Ford got it and we gotta got it too.


3109...Just Another Reason To Be Proud Of CU

Yes that would be Canada's 46th best university, Carleton, on the banks of the majestic Rideau River in your nation's capital.

The student's association, CUSA, which has traditionally held Marxist-Lennonist views [Groucho Marx-John Lennon] has struck another blow for non freedom of speech.

Tom Spears in The Ottawa Citizen reports that this time the jack-booted twits at CUSA have kicked Carleton University's anti-abortion club, a club that may be as big as t e n people [on a campus with over 20 000 students] has been cashiered out of the Carleton University Students' Association for its views, which, like, doh, are anti-abortion. The Carleton Lifeline club may apply to be re-certified but there is a catch, the catch being it may be re-certified only if it supports abortion.

Well, uh, like, no.

"CUSA vice-president Khaldoon Bushnaq responds in a letter to the club that the problem is Lifeline's constitution, part of which says: 'Carleton Lifeline believes in the equal rights of the unborn and firmly believes that abortion is a moral and legal wrong,' and adds that the organization will work toward legal protection for fetuses. The CUSA constitution says there must be 'no CUSA resources, space, recognition or funding' for anyone who opposes abortion."

In other words, we, CUSA, are in favour of free speech as long as you think the way we want you to.

Keep in mind that CUSA is the same organization that "...dropped out of the national Shinerama drive, which raises money for cystic fibrosis research. CUSA said CF was mainly a disease of white people. It later learned this was an error, and rejoined Shinerama after enduring national embarrassment."

That is why Alma Mater is Canada's 46th best university.


3108...It Is Harris-Hudak Or Dalton McGuinty

Plain and simple folks.

Do you want the man who sleeps with the woman who helped craft the evil policies of Mike Harris, anti-poor, anti-work, anti-immigrant, anti-progress, anti-everything to guide Ontario from 2011 onwards or do you want to stay with Dalton McGuinty?

That, my friend, is what it comes down to.


3107...Twitter Tiger For A Date

The greatest ladies man of this millenium, Tiger Woods, is now Twittering.


According to QMI he had over 100 000 followers within 90 minutes.


3106...I Thought It Was The World Wide Web


Apparently People Magazine has determined that Ryan Reynolds is the world's sexiest man.

Um, when you Google The World Famous Dan Shields doesn't my image come up?

Oy vey.


3105...I Need A Favour

Or, if you are a Yank, a favor.

Write a Christmas Song. Better idea, write 59 of them.

I am trapped at a mall for a bit, The Rideau Centre in Ottawa if you must know, and they are rolling the soundtrack of Christ's birthday and I swear I have not heard a song written after the
Louis St. Laurent epoch.

Please help!


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

3104...Democracy Prevails Over Sarah Palin

This just in from the BBC:

Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski has won re-election, defeating a Republican candidate backed by the Tea Party.

Ms Murkowski was defeated in August for the party nomination by Joe Miller, who had been endorsed by ex-Governor Sarah Palin.

Ms Murkowski told supporters to write her name on the ballot, and is the first candidate to win a so-called write-in bid for Senate since 1954.

Kewl, eh?


3103...The Battle Of The Neo-Cons

Self righteous shields in place, neo-cons Ezra Levant, writer and QMI Agency columnist and Green Party Leader Elizabeth May squared off Saturday evening in a debate over whether Alberta’s oilsands are ethical.

Laura Payton in the Toronto Sun reported that the two titans of I-know-better-than-you squared off in Ottawa at the Library & Archives Canada. Note to both, y'all used fossil fuel to get to the debate site.

Mr. Levant said something rather smart at the debate, remarking that "If we want to improve the ethical character of the world’s oil industry, we should produce more and take market share away from the bad guys."

Ms. May countered with "Saying we’re so much better than the others isn’t very relevant." Uh, yes it is.


3102...Peter McKay: Total Props

According to Glen McGregor in this day's Ottawa Citizen

"A human rights activist and former beauty queen who recently made headlines for dating Defence Minister Peter MacKay has pulled out of a conference advocating Western military intervention in Iran.

Nazanin Afshin-Jam was to speak today at the event in Washington, D.C., organized by Freedom Watch U.S.A., a conservative group led by a political pundit who calls himself a one-man Tea Party.

Yadda, yadda, yadda."

Google the name.

Nazanin Afshin-Jam

Love him or hate him, the Honourable Peter MacKay has game.


Prince William should be so talented.


3101...Hero Dog On Oprah Then Murdered

Apparently they don't watch Oprah at the Pinal County Animal Care and Control coz they killed one of Oprah's stars on Monday. Doggies name is Target and he was all over the tube, including Oprah, for saving a bunch of soldiers in Afghanistan from a suicide bomber.

On Friday the shepherd mix took off from his owner, it happens, was picked up, it happens, taken to the shelter.

Reuters reports that then some dumb ass unnamed employee who should be fired yesterday, did not follow the rules regarding killing dogs at the shelter and had Target killed.

S, O and B.


3100...Gemini In The Trash

Richard Foot of Postmedia News tells that Mike Clattenburg of Halifax "...took the golden Gemini Award he won in 2005 for his work as creator of the cult TV hit Trailer Parke Boys, and carried it out like a piece of trash to the curb outside his home. Then he 'tweeted'to the world that the stature was sitting there on the sidewalk, for anyone who wanted it."

He was pissed after watching Sats broadcast of the awards, a broadcast that put Holmes on Homes at number six on the list of most popular shows of all time, uh, most popular Anglo Canuck shows of all time.

Neil Raynsford, who runs trailerparkboys.com, scored the impressive door stopper a few minutes after Mr. Clattenburg's tweet.


3099...Shut The F&ck Up


My comment is directed at our new Governor-General David Johnston. Randy Boswell reports in today's Ottawa Citizen that the head toff "...was delighted to learn of the engagement...(of Prince William and Kate Middleton)" and sees it as a chance to "...rejuvenate..." the monarchy in Canada.

I think they should take a family photo for posterity, like they did back in the day in Merry Ole Russia.


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

3098...Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself

Graham Fox on the great SUN TV debate in yesterdayGlobe and Mail.

Why we need more Sun TV and CBC

Graham Fox
Special to The Globe and Mail
Published Monday, Nov. 15, 2010 5:17PM EST

Last updated Monday, Nov. 15, 2010 5:19PM EST

Rob Ford’s election as mayor of Toronto and the “how did this happen?” post-game analysis triggered yet another round of hand-wringing about what’s wrong with political coverage in Canada. True, reminiscent of the famous quotation from a senior parliamentary reporter about the “boys on the bus” having a government to defeat, some of the columns and editorials that appeared during the campaign did leave the impression that at least some journalists would have gladly substituted their own preference for the judgment of voters. But for the most part what should have been a dispassionate assessment of the strengths of each campaign too often descended into a proxy war between AM talk radio and the Toronto Star.

After all, why should we look to the candidates to explain their victories and failures when we can instead blame the inherent biases of the media? Of course, this is not new. Let us not forget: “Sun newspapers are valued only by those who cannot read.” Or: “CBC news coverage is irreparably distorted by the biases of the Central Canadian socialist elite.” Or even: “Sun TV – aka Fox News North – will be so excessively right wing that it should be declared un-Canadian and barred from broadcasting over our airwaves.” Over the last six months, statements such as these have dominated commentary on Canadian political journalism, grabbing headlines and causing politicians to divert their attention from the priorities of the nation to defend or disown former allies and pundits. Of course, none of these statements is true, but such “analysis” has been so often repeated it has taken on an aura of truthiness – putting at risk the public spaces we count on for open debate.

In isolation, statements like these reveal more about the messenger than the message. Rather than challenge and oppose an idea, it’s often less taxing intellectually to dismiss it simply by attacking the credibility of the medium. Thus, it is tempting to declare them the exception and minimize their meaning for public debate. However, as federal political parties position themselves for an eventual election campaign – possibly as early as next spring – we should worry about the cumulative impact they have on our politics. For decades, the federal political landscape was shaped by brokerage parties whose primary role was to aggregate diverse interests into a coherent policy platform. Regional and ideological cleavages were bridged on the convention room floor as delegates from different parts of the country with different experiences and priorities fought for, and agreed on, their party’s plan for government. Dismissed today as too “old school” for the internet age, this process allowed for individuals to better understand the other and rally to a common purpose.

The fragmentation of the party system after the 1993 election weakened this role. The larger number of parties in the Commons certainly broadened the diversity of voices heard there – in itself a positive thing – but the fact that not one of them could truly claim to have national reach meant the aggregation of diverse interests would occur between parties, not within them. And while the merger of the Progressive Conservatives and the Canadian Alliance went a long way to remedy the situation on the right, the current cycle of minority government has neutralized any progress that might have been made for the system as a whole. So if political parties cannot by themselves be aggregators of interests, how are citizens to debate ideas and decide on priorities? Early on, experts looked to the Internet and social media. If political parties were shrinking in terms of their capacity to reconcile divergent agendas, this vast new public space would create new opportunities for citizens to share views and debate ideas. To be sure, many such opportunities were in fact created. But over time, for each opportunity to debate health-care reform, attracting more foreign investment or climate change, there appeared an online petition to urge “Lisa” to name her next child “Megatron.” Technology, as we can now clearly see, is not inherently democratizing, nor does it necessarily raise the level of debate – for the doubters, please visit the comment section of most media websites.

It is a neutral medium that follows the trends of its users. So, as with politics, online and media spaces are fragmenting, and participants are gravitating toward smaller groups of people who share their views. Far from recreating the convention room floor in cyberspace, we gather in evermore isolated living rooms. In this environment, how is anyone supposed to rally a majority to a common cause? Politics is a blood sport. Public debate can – and indeed should – get heated, passionate and sometimes messy. It is precisely for those reasons that we all have an interest in, and a duty to, protect those public spaces in which opposing views can address each other. We need more Sun TVs and CBCs, not fewer of them. Retreating to forums populated by those who already agree and attacking those who don’t from the safety of that vantage point is not a virtue. And more to the point, there is no majority in it: with each jab at the messenger, one more citizen writes us all off and walks away.

Graham Fox is a strategic policy adviser at Fraser Milner Casgrain LLP. The views expressed are his own.

More voices, not less.


3097...More Armed Robbery Tips

Stupid criminals are everywhere including in your capital.

Armed robbery should be fairly easy, right?

But...let's review: Step 1 - Rob store. Step 2 - Make your cunning escape. Step 3 - Don't do anything stupid like trip and stab yourself with your own knife.

Step 3 is critical and was not followed on Monday when, CBC Ottawa reports, "A man is in critical condition in hospital after injuring himself with his own knife when he tripped and fell after allegedly robbing a store in Ottawa's south end Monday, police said. Police said they were notified about the robbery on Tapiola Crescent at 9:13 a.m. They got a second call about what was called a stabbing short time later."

The Ottawa Sun reports he hurt himself bad, bad enough that he is in critical condition at one of the local hospitals.

Police did not release our hero's name by the way; at least one thing went right for him.


3096...Donovan McNabb Up And Down

The former Syracuse QB and future Hall Of Famer had an up and down day yesterday.

The day went fine with Mr. McNabb signing a 78 000 000 . 00 USD contract; 40 000 000 . 00 of it guaranteed according to ESPN.

The night not so good. Mr. McNabb led the hometown Washington Redskins to a 59 to 28loss to his old club, da Philly Iggles.


3095...Finally A Legacy For Bill Clinton

President Clinton the First, William, has been spotted by TMZ on the set of The Hangover 2 in Thailand.

He is doing a cameo.

BTW TMZ stands for Thirty Mile Zone.

Just saying.


Monday, November 15, 2010

3094...This Is What Makes America Great

Buy a car; get a gun.

Make that a used truck and make the gun an AK-47.

They are not fooling around at Nations Trucks in Sanford, FLA. WKMG, Local 6 in Orlando, talked to the General Sales Manager, Nick Ginetta who stated that the deal, which started on November 11th and runs through to the end of the month, is "...a perfect Veterans Day promotion."

No wonder people sneak into The Land Of The Home And The Free Of The Brave.


3093...I Know How To Satisfy A Woman

Well, not me, but Mike Wallace's kid seems to think he is a daddy mac.

Straight goods from The Huffington Post:

Fox News anchor Chris Wallace had an unexpectedly salty conversation with radio host Mike Gallagher on Friday, telling Gallagher that he knows how to "satisfy a woman" and suggesting that the host would hire an escort if he was "a man."

Wallace's first comment came after Gallagher said he hoped to have the "Fox News Sunday" host's wife as a guest when her book was released in the New Year. "This woman is a saint for putting up with you," he continued. "I gotta find out what the secret is."

"Maybe the secret is I know how to satisfy a woman. Has that ever occurred to you?" Wallace replied. He went on to say that "if I had my own pad and was a bachelor in New York, I wouldn't be lonely. It'd be party night."

A few minutes later, Wallace asked Gallagher why he was so "lonely" in New York, and told him to call one of the "advertisements for, like, gentlemen's clubs and escort services."
"I'm not going to a gentleman's club," Gallagher said, "Are you crazy?"

"Because you're not a man," Wallace said.

Let me get this straight; you cannot be a man if you don't go to peeler clubs or hirer 'hos.

I thought daddy macs don't pay.

Mr. Wallace would fit in quite nicely in La Belle.


3092...Coolest Names Ever

Old school: Fair Hooker - Wide Receiver for the Cleveland Browns from '69 to '74.

New school: Colt McCoy - Quarterback for the Cleveland Browns now.

Colt McCoy, the name, the look, the position are all from central casting. Out of Texas this former Longhorn has become a star this year for the Clevelands.


Saturday, November 13, 2010

3091...Calorie Counting App

Reuters reports that Japan's NTT Communications is developing an app that will count the calories on your plate.

What you will do is take a pic of the food u be thinking of swallowing and the app will tell you the dlly do.

I still am going to supersize.


3090...Funny Birthday/Unfunny Birthday

Funny: Jimmy Kimmel - 43.

Unfunny: Whoppi Goldberg - 55.


Friday, November 12, 2010

3089...Butch Patrick Update

I know. Who da f$ck is dat?

TMZ.com reports that he is a s t a r , present tense, and he is going into rehab coz he has problems with coke, pot and booze. He is trying to beat a forty (40) year addiction to all that. If my
math is right Mr. Patrick started to party hearty in 1970 which was a couple of years after the only thing that ever made him a star, the role of Eddie Munster, The Munsters, got canned.

Listen if my last real job was before the Summer of Love, Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau and President Tricky Dick Nixon, I would be inclined to smokey
breakfast with a Jack chaser.

By the way for those of you who remember the gang at 1313 Mockingbird Lane, Eddie Munster still be ug and lee.


3088...Get Rid Of Sex Ads On Craiglist


Another stupid plan from the Stephen Harpers.

That will solve...n o t h I n g.

I am looking at the sex ad page in The Ottawa Sun and like in little ole Ottawa there must be fifty, five oh, ads for hos.

Stop Craigslist and you will stop nothing.

I know you are pandering to your base but c'mon.


Thursday, November 11, 2010

3087...How Is This Piggy Bank Unlike A Pigskin?

This piggy bank is unlike a pigskin coz it is made out of pig. Pigskins, also known as footballs here in the colonies, are made out of cow, plastic and/or rubber.

This piggy bank is 4,000.00$ and has the The Winnipeg Humane Society twisted like a motherf*cker.

This piggy bank is made out of a real piggy. CBC.ca tells that "The bank, mentioned in Vancouver Magazine, is featured on a website called thecheeky.com, which says that "It's a real piglet that has been taxidermied and inserted with what all piglets probably dream of as babies, a coin storage unit and a cork plug. Make your plush overpriced apartment complete with this little guy." They also reassuringly add that "We don't actually kill the piglets; they die of natural causes and these are the ones that we use."



To paraphrase Sir Winston Churchill, this may not be the end but this surely is the beginning of the end.

The good news is that "According to the latest results from EKOS, released exclusively to CBC News, 29.4 per cent of respondents said they would vote for the Tories if an election were held today, down from 33.9 per cent two weeks ago.

The Liberals received 28.6 per cent support, up slightly from 27.8 per cent, meaning the two parties are statistically tied."

Soon the ship will be right.


3085...Spam Denied

It's right there in Gene Sloan's piece in the USA TODAY.

Some already are calling it the Spam cruise. And the four-day ordeal for passengers this week on the fire-damaged Carnival Splendor even appears to have resulted in the coining of a new word, "Spamcation."

But Carnival now is disputing the notion that Spam ever was served on the disabled vessel after it lost power Monday off the coast of Mexico.

"Despite media reports to the contrary, Carnival Splendor guests were never served Spam!" the line said in a terse tweet sent out today from its official Twitter account at 2:44 pm ET.

Reminded that the U.S. Navy had sent news outlets photos of its personnel delivering Spam to the ship on Tuesday, a spokesman for Carnival contacted by USA TODAY acknowledged that Spam was taken aboard the ship but says it never was passed on to passengers.

A U.S. Navy spokesperson Wednesday told USA TODAY that Carnival had purchased the food (including the Spam) that the Navy delivered to the ship.

The U.S. Navy and the U.S. Coast Guard mounted a relief effort to bring the food to the ship after provisions ran low on the vessel due to a lack of refrigeration. In addition to Spam, the Navy delivered Pop Tarts, croissants and other easy-to-transport goods.

Spam or no Spam they did get off easier than Gilligan.


3084...Tim Hudak Says Leave My Wife Alone

He would be the leader of the Ontario Tories who is going into an election next year.

Tim Hudak told the Canadian Press that he is worried that his wife will be under attack by opponent's during the Ontario election. He wants Dalton McGuinty to send the message that families are off limits.

Good ideer. Except......Mr. Hudak's wife, Deb Hutton, was one of the archeticts of evil under Premier Mike Harris in the 1990's.

Just coz she is a woman, a woman married to you Mr. Hudak, does not make her an non pol so put on your big boy pants and take as well as you give.


3083...Parade Cancelled

That would be the Toronto Maple Leafs Stanley Cup Parade.

U know, the one u planned in your head when they were four and oh.

The wheels hath fallen off; your beloved TLM have dropped four, wait, no that is wrong, they have dropped seven, as in 7 In a row.

Next year ain't this year.


3082...Eleventh Minute

Of the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month.

That is what we are recalling on Rememberamce Day.

But you knew that.


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

3081...The PM Sneaks Into Da Hood

Mia Rabson from the Winnipeg Tribune reports that Winnipeg North Liberal candiate Kevin Lamoureux is steaming, saying that "The federal Conservatives are all smoke and no fire when it comes to actually fighting crime...His comments came less than 24hours after Prime Minister Stephen Harper made a surprise visit to Conservative candidate Julie Javier's McPhillips Street campaign office."

Unlike "Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff, who has visited Winnipeg North three times in the last three months, including holding an open town hall and taking questions from anyone who wanted to ask one...'Under the cover of darkness the PM comes into Winnipeg North and then hightails it out of here,' said Lamoureux. 'I always thought politics was about engaging people. You have to question why it is they didn't want anyone to know about (his visit.)'"

Of course it is coz our beloved PM doesn't give a flying f*ck about poor people, aboriginals or really solving crime. The Tories like to say they are all tough on crime but they are going down the same road as the Yanks, making more stuff illegal and filling jails and the pockets of those who profit from crime on both sides of the fence.


3080...She's Back

In the headlines. Of course it ain't for doing something good. It's for f'cking up. Again.

She of course is woman of the year, wife of the year and soon to be mother of the year Helena Guergis, er, the Honourable Helena Guergis. The Honourable Mrs. Rahim Jaffer stepped in it again. The Toronto Star reports that this time the Independent, er she bills herself as Independent Conservative, MP for Cottage Country-Winnebago "...is under fire for mailing out taxpayer-funded material asking people if they plan to vote for her in the next election."

The mailout, a ten percenter, means that in a "...riding that has 50,613 households...this latest mailing would have gone to just over 5,000." She says she has sent out mailers like this before so wtf, eh?


3079...Larry Smith Conservative Candidate?

That is what Le Devoir is speculating in this morning's edition.

Larry Smith of course is the long time Montreal Alouette president, running back and face of the team. For an anglo they don't get more pure laine than Mr. Smith, a Hudson native who is a graduate of both Bishop's and McGill.

If he runs, and he has declined to run previously for Les Bleus, he would be a lock.


3078...Carleton Still Not #1 Says Macleans

The national mag released its 20th anniversary edition of Canuck Uni ratings and yet again they failed to recognize the brilliance that is Carleton University.

Top schools in the three categories were McGill, Simon Fraser and Mount A.

At least our football team is undefeated.


3077...Thirty Five Years Have Passed

Since Lake Superior swallowed the Edmund Fitzgerald.

That tragedy spawned Gordon Lightfoot's biggest hit, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

The song was favoured by all top 40 dee jays coz it was 5 59 long, offering them a chance to take care of bidness while it was spinning.

All dee jays but one that is. Bob McCord, legendary PM drive jock at 630CHED, hated the song so
much he sunk it a second time, this time with torpedos on air in the summer of '77.


Tuesday, November 9, 2010

3076...I Love Being A Roman Catholic

You know you non believers and other assorted heathens have trouble keeping up with teachers and mentors from your past; us RCs, no such problem.

For example three priests from my past have been all over the Ottawa media this year. Two were charged with having their hands down pants that were not their own and one took a short walk off a tall building.

Thankfully such antics are not confined to Catholic priest of yore. The Smoking Gun reports that "A Catholic priest charged with stealing $83,000 from his Massachusetts parish spent a large portion of the money on his pornography habit, according to police. Rev. Keith LeBlanc, 59, was removed earlier this year from his pastor’s post at St. John the Baptist Church in the face of an investigation by the Archdiocese of Boston. That review (and a subsequent police probe) determined that LeBlanc used church funds to pay for online porn and pay-per-view adult movies ordered from the St. John’s rectory."

The torch is passed.

One question though, who, in their right mind, p a y s for online porn?

How embarrassing.


3075...Michael Moore Spins George W. Bush

Tonight at 8 on MSNBC.

Also his take on Keith Olbermann getting suspended for giving coin to the Dems this election cycle.

Meet you in front of the cathode ray machine.


3074...The Poppy Racket

I just bought my sixth one.

Planned obselesence.


Do it.

No matter waht the haters say the money goies to a great case.


3073...We Have Stockwell Day

They, the Americans, have Bud Selig.

You may recall that the Tory cabinet minister has professed to believe that dinosaurs roamed Alberta back in the day, the day being a few thousand years ago, stupid science be damned. You may also recall that Warren Kinsella mocked Jet-Ski Boy's belief in Young Earth creationism by pulling out a Barney doll during a television interview and stating that "...this was the only dinosaur ever to be on Earth with humans...".

Well, Bud Selig, Milwaukee Chevrolet dealer and the commish of Major League Baseball has pulled a Stockwell. The man who has helmed baseball through the steroids scandal, a cancelled season, a cancelled team and an All-Star game that ended in a tie, recently declared in a letter, "I really believe that Abner Doubleday is the 'Father of Baseball'.".

Mr. Selig, meet Mr. Day; Mr. Day, Mr. Selig.


3072...The End Of An Era

Sadly, Rhode Island Democratic Representative Patrick Kennedy's departure from Congress is something to mourn because it represents, as NBC's Matt Lauer lamented, "The end of an era. There's been a Kennedy in Congress since John F. Kennedy entered the House back in 1947." The nephew of the late President was invited on Monday's Today show to commemorate the occasion with he and co-host Meredith Vieira fondly looking over newly-released photos of JFK from Life.com and reminiscing about his father, the last and great Senator from Mass, Ted Kennedy.

He was a vocal supporter for health care reform which, to this writer, should be a no brainer but, weirdly, is not.

A February 2010 poll commissioned by WPRI TV 12 in Providence indicated Kennedy's support was weak entering his expected re-election campaign, as 56% of 1st District voters viewed him unfavorably and only 35% said they would vote to re-elect Kennedy.

He was born in '67 so one would hope that he has a lot more public service in him.


Monday, November 8, 2010

3071...We're Number Eight!

As in the eighth greatest country in the world in some survey done by somebody that was in one of the weekend papers.

Norway: Number One.

No surprise.

Zimbabwe: Dead last.

No surprise.

USA: Number Four.



Sunday, November 7, 2010

3070...Are You On Facebook?

Me too. You already know my name so friend me already. I mean that is the point, right?

Now that she has figured out the clock radio and mastered the remote for the TV Queen Elizabeth is hitting Facebook tomorrow. Buckingham Palace says that Liz the Two is hitting FB. Her page is going to be called The British Monarchy.

Here is the crazy part: by choice she is not pokable or friendable. I am supposing ixnay to chatnay, eh?

The rich do live differently.


Saturday, November 6, 2010

3069...Elite Alcoholic Tales: George W. Bush

George W. Bush, you may recall he was the worst Prez in Yankee history, is pimping his book Decision Points on NBC's Today Monday morning. Or Matt Lauer Reports. Whatever. It will be on You Tube, so just wait a bit if you care. Of course, to promo the show they are leaking portions of the interview like this jewel.

In the interview "...the former prez claims he hit rock bottom when a hot but older family friend came to his dad’s summer White House for dinner. Surrounded by his wife, brothers and sister, the drunken Dubya turned to the hottie and asked, 'What is sex like after 50?'"

That's rock bottom? Holy f*ck. No police, no jail, no making out with an 80 year dude on New Year's like another New Englander I know did. Just a simple question that, frankly, I would ask s o b e r, which, btw, I have been, oftenish.

The rich so live different than the rest of us eh?


3068...Cable TV Subscriptions Down

GigaOM reports that cable TV subscriber count dropped in the United States for just the second time in history. 500,000 less subscribers in Q3.

So naturally cable execs are looking to lower prices to lure people back. Yeahhhhh, surrrrrre. Just kidding, prices going up to maintain profit trajectories. You know, the way small town stores fight Wal Mart by laying off staff and raising prices. Except in this case Wal-Mart is the Al Gore's invention, that damn world wide web thingy.

Seriously if I wasn't a sports fan I wouldn't go to the trouble of having cable and I am sure you know lotsa people who are the same. Atdhe.net, surfthechannel, veetle, hello; cable, goodbye.


3067...Defense Attorney Of The Year

This is from that big home invasion case in Connecticut that has been all over the news and The New York Post.

The accused lawyer's summation was: "Go ahead. Kill him. Make his day."

I guess that takes care of that.

"'If you want to end his misery, you should execute him,' defense lawyer Thomas Ullmann told jurors yesterday in closing arguments for Connecticut home-invasion monster Steven Hayes, in a desperate attempt at reverse psychology to save his client from the death penalty.

Jurors begin today deciding if the career burglar will be put to death for raping and murdering nurse Jennifer Hawke-Petit, 48, and for helping burn alive her daughters, Hayley, 17, and Michaela, 11, three years ago."

If you haven't kept up on this story be certain that a film will follow.


3066...Rob Ford Comes Thru

According to his former teammate on the Carleton Ravens football team John Lindsay, quoted in this week's Charlatan, Rob Ford's problem when he was with the Ravens in the early morning was that he didn't weigh enough to play centre.

He came thru on the weight gain.

Let's see how he does with other needs.


Friday, November 5, 2010

3065...Last Weekend

For the CKCU funding drive.

Your community station in Ottawa is looking for a few shekels, like 110k; every wee bit helps.

613 520 3950. Tell them the WFDS made the ask.


3064...Hoop In Ottawa This Weekend

Friday Carleton/Guelph: women at 6 and men at 8.

Ottawa/Brock, meme chose.

Reverse the program on Saturday.


3063...One Of The Greats Passes

I was watching Local4 when I was taken aback with the news that Sparky Anderson, the only MLB manager to appear on WKRP In Cincinnati, has died.

He was 76 and suffering from dementia. Mr. Anderson is the
first manager to have won
World Championships with teams from both circuits. The former Toronto Maple Leaf is also is
the winningest manager for both the C Reds and the Detroit Tigers.

Prayers with.


3062...Happy Guy Fawkes Day

He was, of course, the fellow that got all capital punished for trying to blow the f@ck out of the House of Lords in Merry Ole on this day in 1605.

The House of Lords is the Brit version of the Senate.

Apparently blowing it up was a faux pas of sorts.


3061...You Too Can Lose 35 Pounds

My media monitor Colin Fairweather informs me that Sheila Copps, former deputy PM, did it the Herbal Magic way and you can too!

Hey, good on her.

I love that kind of real people stuff.


Thursday, November 4, 2010

3060...Tea Party Is Halfa

They are Libertarians they say but they only go half way.

On social issues such as gay marriage, drug prohibition and prostitution they are positively un Libertarian.

Half a revolution is, no matter what Rand Paul says, is no a revolution.


3059...Jay Z Wants To Run For President

He tells BBC Newsbeat that he wants to run for the White House in 2018.

Uh, not so fast Sparky.

U. S. prez elections are in '12, '16 and '20.

No '18.


3058...Sometimes Tories Have Good Ideas

Take Lisa MacLeod of Nepean-Carleton.

The belle of the provincial Tories is introducing a bill today that will make Remberance Day a stat holiday.

Ontario, Quebec and Manitoba are the only three provinces in our country that do not take November 11th as a holiday.


3057...I Am A Daredevil

Afraid of nothing.

Well, except water and heights.

So, fearlessly I may add, I am posting this from my cellphone.

Ontario Dipper MPP France Gelinas wants my phone to have a sticker on it so I don't hurt myself. She is supported by Dr. Magda Havas o Trent University in Peterpatch who says that cellphone can mess with yr head, giving you tumours and all that. Of course if she was good at doctoring she would be at a better university, which would be, frankly, any other uni. Some institution has to anchor the left side of the curve.

Anyhow the Dips are Dips and, as Sun Media reports, Health Promotion Minister Margaret Best says "STFU". Same from the other side of the floor where Tory leader Tim Hudak also said "STFU".


Wednesday, November 3, 2010

3056...Three Greatest Inventions Of All Time

1800s: Catholic school girl uniforms.

1900s: Cheerleader outfits.

2000s: Lululemon Pants.

Solarina Ho of Reuters writes that the Canuck company, which is up 80 points on NASDAQ in the
last year, is poised to make a huge dent in the States.

Yay us!


3055...The Election Is Over;The People Have Spoke


Great thoughts cut and pasted from Blake Batson's Perspective Ottawa but they apply equally well anywhere especially in Toronto where a lot of yer Stuff White People Like folks have their panties in a knot over Mayor Rob Ford.

I have a lot of friends who don’t think the Jim Watson victory is a good thing. Now, they are set to pounce on every little word he says and every little movement he makes and forecasting dire consequences. That is election rhetoric and the election is over. Ottawa voters have spoken and it was pretty clear, Jim Watson will be the new mayor of Ottawa.

As our outgoing mayor, Larry O’Brien said, Jim Watson will be a very good mayor for Ottawa. Although I preferred the more aggressive vision of O’Brien, Watson, along with his ten new councillors, will move the city forward. I think he’ll be a fine mayor for our city.

In four years, voters will get to past judgement on Mayor Watson’s record. Guest Blogger Tim Wieclawski has a check list of the 66 major promises our new mayor made during the election. Let’s use that as a map to see how on track Watson stays. In the meantime, until Watson is actually sworn in and starts to work on his agenda, I think it doesn’t do much good to criticize every little thing he does.


3054...Premier Campbell Packs It In

Canadian Press NewsAlert:B.C. Premier Gordon Campbell resigns (Campbell-Resignation-)

Source: The Canadian Press

Nov 3, 2010 14:31


3053...What Are You Thinking Canaduh?

The Ottawa Citizen reports an Ipsos Reid for Postmedia News and Global Television Prime Minister Stephen Harper is convincing Canadian voters that he is the best man to lead our country. The poll indicates that Canucks think that the dude who is running our deficit up, up and way up is particularly well suited to manage Our Home And Native Land during tough economic times.

Is everybody high?

"The survey found that 43 per cent of Canadians believe that, among the major party leaders, Harper is the best choice for best prime minister, down three points from a poll in February." Jack Layton, who has no hope in hell, is at 33 points and Mikey I, the man who should be next PM, is at 24.


3052...Barney's Version

The Ottawa Citizen said there were 1500 people at the Ottawa Premiere Mordecai Richler's Barney's Version. I would say that the response was overwhelming.

The movie was a bit derivative, the first half an hour was very reminicent of Neil Simon's The Heartbreak Kid, but the film picked up speed and was a nice way to spend an evening.

The flick is supposed to be opening wide in the New Year and is certain to be a staple of the movie and more esoteric cable stations for eons.


3051...Wheels Fall Off For The Leafs

Boy it was looking so promising for awhile there but now not so good.

Last night the Torontos got beat at home, h o m e, to the Ottawas 3/2.

Hey at least they scored; been a long time.


3050...Good News For British Columbia

Proposition 19, which woulda sorta made the evil drug marijuana kinda legalish, was defeated.

Since BC bud is allegedly the dominant brand in Cali, the failure of
Prop 19 is good news for the tens of thousands of small time grow op farmers in lotus land.

Now would someone please talk Russell Barth off the ledge.


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

3049...Ottawa Premiere Of Barney's Version

At the National Art Centre nontheless with a red carpet and everything.

IMDB, the data base that got me my English degree, rates the flick as an 8.2 so it is promising. Bit sad they did not open the bar early and Prop 19 hasn't passed in Ontario but I digress.

The funniest thing so far has been the Red Carpet. The words "Red Carpet" and "Ottawa" do not work well in the same sentence. Best way to descrbe the Red Carpet ce soir is to think of when you are watching TV5 and they have a Belgian game show on and you have to figure out who the celebrity is and who the contestant is.


3048...We Lost A Flying Frenchman

The Flying Frenchman.

Front page news all over La Belle saluting wrestler Edouard Carpentier. Mr. Carpentier, who thrilled generations of fans with his acrobatic moves, passed away in his mid 80s. He was a good guy and sorted out the likes of Killer Kowalski and the Vachon brothers, Mad Dog and Paul the Butcher while winning multiple belts.

They threw away the mold.

Prayers all around.


3047...We Have A Winner

In the who gives a f&ck category.

Peter McKay and the Stephen Harpers have, magnaimously, decreed that all soldiers, ex soldiers, people who have seem Saving Private Ryan on both the theatre and on TV, will get to
ride on Via Rail for twenty five per cent off.

Again not getting it.


3046...Danny Williams' Penis

Pamela Pardy Ghent thinks it is small.

She went on Facebook and asked if he had a small unit; "...small man syndrome..." was what she posted.

The member of Newfoundland's rural secretariat also wrote that "...Everyone can take a joke, right?".

The Canadian Press writes "Apparently not.". Miss Ghent got a call from a senior rural development official who told her to walk the


3045... Big Mid Term Today For Mr. President

U. S.midterms.

Personally all I want to see is Christine O'Domnell become the junior senator from Delaware.

Witches are fun.


Monday, November 1, 2010

3044...First It Kills Its Master

Then it tries to take out another of its alleged masters.

It is the Segway.

If you recall the inventor of the you're-too-lazy-too-walk machine was killed by his baby earlier this year.

Now this from the Chicago Tribune:

A Segway rider fell into Lake Michigan near the Field Museum this afternoon, but was able to get out of the water on his own.

Chicago police could not say this evening how he ended up in the water, but said the Segway personal scooter eventually was recovered from the lake.

The Chicago police Marine Unit responded to the incident about 4 p.m., but rescue efforts were unnecessary.

3043...Finally More Pandas In Quebec And Alberta

Tronna too.

This ain't code for anything it is the literal truth.

Jessica Hume scribbles the story in the National Post on this first day of November, to wit: "After months of negotiations and, in at least one zoo's case, nine years of discussions, Canada has finally secured a giant panda loan from China. The endangered animals could reach Canadian soil as soon as 2011, according to a memorandum of understanding signed on Friday by Canadian and Chinese authorities, and will be shared by three zoos -- Toronto, Calgary and Granby, Que."

Two, two and two for up to two years.

"There are currently only about 1,600 pandas in the wild and roughly 200 in captivity. The non-government organization Pandas International reports that although the incidence of poaching has decreased as China has sharpened its wildlife laws, the main threat to pandas is habitat loss."

It is kinda ironic that they are not going to Edmonton considering the University of Alberta calls its women's teams The Pandas.


3042...It's Not The Fall That Kills You

It is the sudden s t o p.

Just ask Megan Duskey of Chicagoland about that.

Wait, you cannot.

She dead.

The Chicago Tribune reports that the 23 year old teacher [those who can do; those who can't teach] was at the Haunted Hotel Ball at one of the Hilton's in Oprahtown when she tried to slide down the stair rail from the mezzanine level but, oops, flew down to the basement.

Big owie.

And she wasn't drunk.


3041...Tories Plan Law And Order Offensive

That is the headline in your morning Ottawa Sun.

Same old, same old.

Instead of worrying about multiple killers like Russell Williams, and his body count was, not to mitigate things but, his body count was T W O, perhaps the Tories should concentrate on jobs, ending poverty, you know, coz people with jobs don't tend to commit as much crime.

Just saying.


3040...I Beat Wikipedia On This One

Least I did an hour ago.

The Minnesota Brett Favre's have released superstar reciever Randy Moss.

No sh@t.

Rumours are that the Philly Michael Vicks may pick him up.

Cool beans.


3039...Pot Prices To Collapse

If The Golden State of California passes Prop Whatever, I think it is Proposistion 19, legalizing
marijuana in that 36 000 000 person market expect the
domestic markets for smoke to be flooded.

Becuz, economically speaking, dope is a pure market (in Adam Smith terms) the increased supply along with a constant and flat demand curve will cause a depression in price.

Vic Toews and the rest of the Stephen Harpers, prohibitionists all, must be on the edge of their seats.


3038...November Is Moovember

And to raise awareness for
prostate cancer men, and women of a certain age and/or ethnicity are to grow mustaches to raise awareness.

I don't get the tie in but anything to help.

Plus I will look more like Jack Layton and
that canna hurt with the girlie girls.


3037...Happy Birthday To You

Toronto Sun.

Inaugural issue out on this day in 1971.

A typical Sun reader I are so I am, as Ian Davey pointed out earlier this year, illiterate. My math ain't so strong either; I can only count for certain to 21.

Happy 50th birthday Suns!