Tuesday, January 31, 2012

4170...The Kid Gets Back In The Picture

The Kid is Larry O'Brien who, if it could be quantified, was the worst big city mayor in the history of history.

The former mayor of Ottawa got himself back in the picture by Tweeting, I would guess btw the way he had a few wobbly pops in him, the magical word "...spic..." when referring to Hispanics.

Third story on CBC TV in Ottawa at 5 tonight and page 5 I believe of the Ottawa Sun.



"Babe Ruth changed baseball; Jackie Robinson changed America."

The man who broke the colour barrier in professional sports and was a civil rights pioneer, Jackie Robinson, was born this day in 1919.

He broke into the bigs with Brooklyn's Dodgers in '47; his first year as a pro was in '46 with the Montreal Royals.


4168...Bye Bye CBC?

Here we go again. Kris Sims of QMI's Parliamentary Bureau tells the nation this a.m. that "Conservative backbenchers are rekindling their fight to abolish the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. Four Tories presented petitions in the House of Commons Monday calling for the state broadcaster to be defunded or sold to private industry."

You know it is pretty hard to f'ck up national TV or Radio but the government of Canada has done so in spades. Like the Senate it ain't just the Conservatives but it is just the Conservatives now. The air is public and it should be there for people to be able to hear their neighbours stories, which, by the way, we have in spades in America. In Canada we don't have that.

That is the construct that the Tories should be striving for but, of course, under the current dictator, the less voices the better.


4167...Happy Birthday To You

Three big birthdays today:

Nolan Ryan turns 65;

Justin Timberlake is 31 and;

Scotch Tape is 82.


Monday, January 30, 2012

4166...Cannes Advertising Festival

It is an annual affair, the best of adverts from around the world.

It is on at the ByTowne Cinema in Ottawa, the one on Rideau Street near the big ass Loblaws, later this week and next week.

I would tell you to go if only for this reason and that is to discover that ads really aren't as good as they used to be.

Of course I have figured out why. It is coz political correctness has sucked the funny and the flatulent out of this world. Comedy ain't pretty and it ain't nice either.

Bring back the mean. But in the meantime head down to the ByTowne and see what I mean.


4165...1800 Dollars For A Parking Spot

That is the high number for a spot a Super Bowl XLVI in Indy according to parkhub.com.

Of course it is for three days and includes in and out privileges sooooooooo.


4164...Thanks For The Memories

"This ain't fantasy football." That is what the owner of the Indianapolis Colts, the worst team in the NFL this season, tells Hannah Storm tomorrow on ESPN.

[I am not psychic; the show was taped.]

Jim Irsay is the owner of the team and he says that "...it's looking more likely the Colts won't pay injured Peyton Manning the $28 million bonus he's due March 8 -- and may show him the door."

Of course as a graduate of Tennessee there is a pretty good chance that Mr. Manning could find the door on his own and could also find a good gig as a QB in the league next year.

In a case of deja vu happening all over again, Mr. Irsay also says that the team is in a toss up between picking Andrew Luck with the first draft choice or Heisman Trophy winner Robert Griffin III. Both are quarterbacks. That was the same sitch back in the day when the Colts had to choose between Mr. Manning and Ryan Leaf.

Mr. Leaf is now a golf coach. Let's hope lightning strikes twice for the Colts.


4163...It Is 2012

Someone tell the NDP that please.

I thought I was the only one who wasn't jazzed up about the Dipper's leadership thingy but, alas, I am not.

Mia Rabson's story in the Winnipeg Free Press about yesterday's debate in Halifax states that the debate "...was pretty bland and somewhat underlines a new poll that shows many Canadians do not have any idea who these candidates are."

They also had the debate on the day of the NHL All-Star game which, with the hoi polloi/voters, is a big deal here in Our Home And Native Land.

I would guess that the NDP has dropped the ball and will nestle nicely back into 5th place.

Jack Layton must be churning in his urn.


4162...Happy Birthday Mr. Scary

Dick Cheney, the man who ran the world for eight years, turns 71 today.


Sunday, January 29, 2012

4161...Le Wheels Have Le Fallen Off In La Belle

For the PDN or whatever way the NDP groups their initials in La Belle.

A poll done for CTV and the Globe and Mail by Nik Nanos says that "The Liberals sat at 26.5 per cent in Quebec, up almost four points, while the NDP dropped to 29 per cent from 33.4 as it continues the process to select a new leader after Jack Layton's death last summer."

You know that caveat, we are right 19 out of 20 times blah, blah and blah? Methinks that the NDP victories in Quebec back in 2011 would fall under that.


4160...It's A Dog Day For UK

Coz it is the 'net I ended up at WKLY.com, they are a TV station in Louisville, Kentucky, and I see this piece on a dog writing a fan letter to Coach John Calipari of the number one Kentucky Wildcats.

Cut and paste:

LEXINGTON, Ky. -- Kentucky coach John Calipari thought he had seen it all: then he received fan mail from a dog.

Calipari said Friday the letter arrived complete with a paw print "signature."

The coach of the top-ranked Wildcats said the canine correspondence ranks among the most unique things he's ever received. But it was somewhat fitting as Kentucky's defense has been pretty doggone good.

It wasn't from my dog Mara. I bleed Syracuse Orange.


Saturday, January 28, 2012

4159...Stephen Harper In One Sentence

From they.com:

We have a Prime Minister (that’s French for Dear Leader under the current regime) who doesn’t give a suckling goat what the people think about his policies.

Beyond brilliant.


4158...Dana White Needs To Get A Grip

Dana White is the owner, the face, the leader et. al. of the UFC.

For those of you who have been on the moon with President Gingrich, the UFC is the hottest combat sport going. Tonite's show is the UFC on FOX, a broadcast/cable thing. Most of the UFC events are on pay TV and are also marketed to sports bars.

Here is what is getting Dana White pissed. People, like me, like you, are pirating, stealing, Mr. White's fight night off the 'net. You know, the same way a lot of us watch Sons of Anarchy, The Office and the NFL.

Dude, for a guy that is so media savvy and hip and on the curve you have losted your way. You have to do like The Office and the NFL in particular do which is figure out how to make money off us even if we are pirates. Seriously, Congress can pass SOFA and any other laws they want. Good luck to them on stopping pirates. When granny starts thieving, and she has, it is game, set and match.

Work it out Mr. White or you will become the cultural equiv of the cassette tape.


4157...The Cultural Capital Of Metro Detroit...

...and Canada's second sleaziest city, Windsor, is holding a dwarf tossing competition tonight.

I personally have no problem with that, this particular dwarf has to make a living, eh? And getting tossed in the air by drunks may not be your dream job but I bet it beats working a call centre gig or being an adult paper boy. Ron Jones, a Windsor councillor was quoted as saying as much in the Windsor Star: "A person has a right to make a living..."

Still it is fun, at least pour moi, to see all the stick in the muds get their panties all twisted over such a non issue. As Mr. Jones said "If you don't want to go and see it, you don't have to go and see it."


4156...Cheap B*stard

That would be Outremont MP and NDP leadership front runner Thomas Muclair.

The Ottawa Citizen's front page reveals such.

Mr. Muclair has given Z E R O dollars to the Dippers since forever.

Perhaps he is not aware of the 75 per cent tax credit.

Or he is a cheap b*stard.


Friday, January 27, 2012

4155...John Travolta Has A Tear In His Eye

For his co star from back in the day, Robert Hegyes aka Epstein on Welcome Back Kotter.

I was tipped by Facebook friend Dave Yazbeck who linked me to a Los Angeles Times article that sadly tells that the sixty year old Mr. Hegyes died in New Jersey yesterday of a heart attack.



4154...Mopeds Cull The Herd

Send this to Stephen Harper please.

I was on 2KHOU's website yesterday. It is Honolulu's oldest TV station. Or not.

I digress.

They had a great story about how mopeds are picking off seniors at an alarming [if you like cotton heads that is] rate.

Apparently allowing super annuated people who have had their licences pulled by the DMV to ride motorized vehicles [that go like 30 KMH] has resulted in a lot of uncoordinated old people with vision and balance issues in Hawaii to die.

Mr. Harper, if they dead you don't have to pay jack.

Here is the plan: on everyone's 65th birthday they get a moped. No license, no insurance and soon less geysers crowding the mall.

Culling the herd.


4153...Stephen Harper Now Takes On Oldies

Before I wrap my garbage in it I always take time to read the Ottawa Citizen, the paper of record in your capital.

In today's wrappings was a story that our beloved leader, who is in Davos, Switzerland for the Smart Guy Money Conference, is planning on f*cking with the money old folks get in our Canada, and it ain't much, like six hundredish. What the Stephen Harpers plan to do is "...gradually change the Old Age Security system so that the age of eligibility is raised to 67 from 65."

This won't affect his base who are RRSP'd and Real Estated up their hineys. No, the folks that it will affect are those at the bottom, the one per cent of the ninety per cent, who didn't plan ahead. And don't vote.

Personally I think Mr. Harper should just buy old folks a moped when they hit 65.

Works in Hawaii.


Thursday, January 26, 2012

4152...Ron Paul Went Yard

That is what Len Berman tells me.

Mr. Berman sent me an email that said, in part, that "You might be interested to learn that Paul is the only Congressman to have ever hit a home run over the fence in the Congressional baseball game's 50-year history. And you thought he was just another pretty face."

And he did it without steroids.


4151...Jerry Jones Has Alzheimer's

Or stupidizer's.

I don't get it. I have a TV and watched the Dallas Cowboy's owner/s team choke it out a number of times this year, specifically against the New Jersey Jets early and the New Jersey Giants in a must win game in the very last game of the season.

The key choker was Quarterback Tony Romo.

Yet Jerry Jones told CBS Sports that, I paraphrase, "...Romo was the man...the rest of the team lagged behind..."

Mr. Jones, wtf?


4150...Tim Thomas

In case you don't know him, Tim Thomas plays goalie for the Stanley Cup champeen Boston Bruins.

Pains me to say that btw: Stanley Cup champeen Boston Bruins.

I digress.

The other day, Monday, the Big Bad Bruins were invited to meet President Obama at the White House. Mr. Thomas, an American and the best goalie in the world, declined to join his fellows at the White House because he thinks that the Prez sucks as a Prez and that is that.

Geez you would have thought he had killed someone. Everyone is weighing in on this and, with the notable exception of moi, everyone is hating on Mr. Thomas. An example thereof was in/on Boston.com today quoting the Governor of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts Deval Patrick who said that

“He’s a phenomenal hockey player and he’s entitled to his views, but it just feels to me like we’re losing in this country basic courtesy and grace,” Patrick said.

“I didn’t think much of President Bush’s policies – two wars on a credit card, prescription drug benefit that we couldn’t afford, deficit out of control – but I always referred to him as ‘Mr. President.’ I stood when he came in the room,” Patrick said in his monthly appearance on the “Ask the Governor” segment on WTKK-FM.

“There are rules to live by so I don’t want to make more of this than is deserving. I guess I’d prefer to pay more attention and offer more commentary when there are acts of grace as opposed to the reverse,” he said...

Okay, so here is the deal. First off America [and Canada] is supposed to be all about freedom. So, doesn't it follow that Mr. Thomas should be free to not go to the White House?

End of story.

There has to be more important sh*t going on in this world than a man who wears a helmet to work declining to meet the POTUS.


4149...Poor Gilles Duceppe

First he loses his cushy job in Ottawa.

Secondly the Habs suck badly.

Now this.

This being a story that was broken late last week, to wit: As J-Source’s French-language counterpart, ProjetJ, reports, La Presse broke the story on Saturday that the former Bloc Québécois leader had used money from his parliamentary budget to pay employees. They asserted that this apparent use of public money to pay those participating in partisan activity was a breach of House of Commons regulations."

This of course is some serious bullsh*t coz they all use their offices and their resources to further their political careers. That includes you Joe Comartin, NDP House Leader.

Mountains made out of non-mountains.

And, if one is to believe La Presse, he did not even break any rules.

Time wasters.


4148...Part Two Re Our Native People

Somebody, Albert Einstein, Dr. Phil, somebody said that if you keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result you are a fool.

Bear that in mind svp.


4147...This Indian Thing

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am not supposed to call them that. So I will call them whatever they want to be called and I will also stand alone and say that they are not getting screwed so much by the Canadian government and that they historically are getting screwed by their free loading, soft pillow loving, expense account charging leaders.

I don't know if there were any winners in the forming of Confederation but there was one group of losers: Indigenous peoples.

So sad, too bad, a century and more ago. They got screwed. But in the 136 years since the biggest bad guys have always been helped by the leaders of the Aboriginal communities.

Let's try and get your sh*t together for n o w 2012 Chief Shawn Atelo et. al. and instead of whining about days of yore look forward and help your folks. I read in the Toronto Star this morning that "Across this country there are native children who can’t go to school because their community doesn’t have one. Tap water, assuming their home even has running water, is too dangerous to drink. And they’ve never seen their parents go to work because there are no jobs where they live."

The last sentence is most telling "And they’ve never seen their parents go to work because there are no jobs where they live."

Here is a crazy idea but, perhaps your people, Chief Atelo, could do what, for example, everyone else on the planet does: Move to where there are jobs.

That is a starter.


Wednesday, January 25, 2012

4146...Robbie Burns Day: Live It Like A Scotsman!

Do some heroin and stab somebody while robbing them.


4145...This Is What I Live For

Jim Robinson passes this along from failepicfail.com.

So this couple wants a family, fair dinkum. But buddy cannot get one past the goalie so they go to a doctor in their burg of Stuttgart who tells Dimetrious Soupolos, a mere 29 year old lad he is, that he is sterile.

Mr. Soupolos comes up with a plan. He will pay his next door neighbour, Frank Maus, 34, 2500 dollars to be with his wife, Mrs. Traute Soupolos,three times a week for six months and get Mrs. S pregnant. Should work, coz Mr. Maus has two kids already, eh?

Doesn't work.

Mr. Maus goes to a doctor who tells him he is also sterile.

Turns out Mrs. Maus has a guy on the side who has been getting her pregnant.

This beautiful story has turned into a sad civil case with every one suing every one.


4144...Devil Is In The Details

That is the message that emerges from the Liberal confab last weekend.


4143...Kieran Green Is In The Tower And Is Armed

The thoughtful former progressive Liberal [Team Red has lost a lot of those this decade] posted a self proclaimed politically cranky list on Facebook today.

I offer it to you here:

Kieran Green

I'm feeling particularly politically cranky today, so here's my own...

What we Canadians have to be proud of?

1. We are the last country in the world preventing the UN from listing asbestos as a hazardous substance... because we want to keep selling it to third world nations.
2. Our country is one of the biggest obstacles to global progress on addressing climate change.
3. We are the home of the world's most environmentally-destructive oil source, but we call it "ethical oil".
4. We let Chinese companies buy out our environmentally destructive oil source, and then accuse environmental groups of being "foreign influences".
5. Our government labels non-radical environmental groups as "Enemies of the government"
6. We give rich oil companies $50 million for PR to promote the oil sands, while using "fiscal restraint" as an excuse to fire all the government scientists researching climate change.
7. We spend $750,000 to put fancy new ice shacks on the Rideau Canal, while aboriginal children freeze in houses and schools that look like something from the most impoverished nations in Africa.
8. We boast about training female police officers in Afghanistan, while an increasing number of female RCMP officers are forced to sue our national police force because of unendurable sexual harassment and indifference from their superiors.
9. We boast of helping end police state oppression in Libya, while still refusing to conduct a serious investigation of human and civil rights abuses by Canadian police at the 2010 Toronto G8/G20 Summit.
10. The governing party has violated Canadian laws on multiple occasions, and Canadian voters rewarded them with a majority government.
11. Canada continues to reduce aid to the poorest countries in Africa, shifting aid dollars to much better-off South American countries because we have trade interests there.
12. We are about the only country in WTO negotiations actively trying to eliminate national systems that benefit our own farmers.
13. We register cars, marriages and dogs, but think that registering guns is a horrible infringement on our freedom.
14. In a country that claims to be peaceful and polite, one of our most popular current cultural icons is a loud-mouthed, bile and hate-spewing hockey goon.
15. In a country that claims to be peaceful and polite, in our last election: the use of vitriolic attacks ads increased, homes and cars were vandalized because their owners visibly supported a particular party, and a candidate who was canvassing door-to-door had a man threaten to throw garbage at her... WHILE SHE WAS CARRYING HER 2-MONTH-OLD BABY.
16. Our national police force has played an active partisan role to influence at least two of the past three national elections.
17. The home of Lester B. Pearson is now so irrelevant in global politics that we were turned down for a seat on the UN Security Council.
18. We have all but abandoned our role as one of the cornerstones of global blue-helmet peacekeeping, while engaging in an increasing number of American-style 'spread democracy through force' combat missions.
19. Everywhere you see "Support our troops" stickers, whose owners will practically spit on you if you dare question the latest mission. Those same owners don't seem to care how our "Support our troops" government continues to reduce its support for Canadian veterans suffering mental and physical injuries from those missions. (Oh, and if one of those soldiers tries to make a public fuss, the government publicly releases their private medical information to discredit them).
20. The majority of Canadians don't give a rats ass about any of these things, and will crap over anyone like me who dares suggest that Canada is less than perfect. Because we have become empty, navel-gazing "my country right or wrong" patriotic idiots, just like Americans.

Astute, controversial and well done.