Friday, August 31, 2012

5112...KKK And Mitt Have Same Ad Agency

Dewey, Cheetum and Howe.

At least they recycle.


5111...My Fave Part Of Ottawa Pride

Is this schmuck.

He is there every year and every year he makes the paper.  This is from 2012's Ottawa Citizen.  One year he was batman, not to be confused with Batman, complete with wings.  Another year he resembled Mr. Peanut.  I believe the dude from Monopoly made an appearance too.

What is consistent with this stronzo is the fact that he is walking in a parade, his ass hanging out for all to see and his skin the colour of melanoma but while tanning he was too shy to take his shorts off.

That is one big freaking tan line, eh?

A participant in Ottawa’s Pride parade on Sunday. You don’t like it? Don’t look, writes Justin Ling.



Thursday, August 30, 2012

5110...Michael Moore Likes Romney

In the betting sort of way.

He popped up on my browser from somewhere, somewhere and pointed out that in the last election Barack Obama only won two demos:  18-24 and white women.

This makes the idea of a President Romney very possible.

Be afraid.

Be very afraid.


5109...Rob Ford's Niece On Being Skanky

She is all about helping women, er, womyn, stay safe.  Charles Adler of Sun News drops this knowledge on the world.

"This is what Krista Ford tweeted

Stay alert, walk tall, carry mace, take self-defence classes & don’t dress like a whore “'#DontBeAVictim'” and “'#StreetSmart.'”

This what Krista Ford looks like.

So at least you can look good.  Thank God for that.


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

5108...Yahoo Editor Gassed

It was on my Slatest.

HOT MIC: "They are happy to have a party with black people drowning." Those were the words that cost Yahoo! News Washington bureau chief his job today, after his comments were recorded during last night's online broadcast by a live microphone.
Yahoo!: "David Chalian's statement was inappropriate and does not represent the views of Yahoo!. He has been terminated effective immediately. We have already reached out to the Romney campaign, and we apologize to Mitt Romney, his staff, their supporters and anyone who was offended."
Sure it is probably true but since when did we want to have truth get in the way of correctness.


5107...Is Trudeau Gonna Jump In?

Rumours and rumors are flying around that the second most famous Canadian named Justin is going to run for the top job in the Liberal Party.

I say go for it.

I also say go for it after the Quebec elex on Monday.


5106...Romney Dissed For Saving Tax Dollars

5105...USA, USA

Which Harper's reports is what the Ron Paul delegates chanted when a speaker from Puerto Rico, part of the USA, USA, spoke at the GOP convention.


As in not very.


5104...It Is A Thrilling Birthday

For Michael Jackson.

May he rest in peace.

Or move to Tweed and be with Elvis.


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

5103...A New Parti Enters Quebec Election Today

5102...Wonder What Pete Best Thinks About This

His replacement in The Beatles seems to be doing quite well for himself.  The Ottawa Sun had this.

The Beatles legend Ringo Starr has been named the world’s richest drummer ahead of Phil Collins and Dave Grohl.
The veteran musician came top in the list compiled by with an estimated fortune of $300 million, with Genesis star Collins coming in second with $250 million. Former Nirvana drummer-turned-Foo Fighters frontman Grohl is third with $225 million.

5101...World's Oldest Woman Gives Life Tips

Her name is Bessie Cooper and it is all over the papers that the Monroe, Georgia lady just hit 116.

Her secret to life is to STFU and not eat junk food.

True that.


5100...Scholarships For Peelers

And they are not in La Belle.

In an amazing forward thinking move, one reported in The Sun's all across Our Home And Native Land, Robert Katzman and his management team at "...Leopard's Lounge and Broil is trying to fill a void left by foreign dancers who have been sent packing from Canada by the federal government."

If you or someone you know is a woman looking to move to Windsor, the gateway to Detroit, and dance, dance, dance, Mr. Katzman's group will offer you a school scholarship, help you with first and last month's rent, moving expenses.  They will do everything in their power to insure your experience stripping at their club rocks.

The Sun's didn't provide an address or a number for the Leopard's Lounge and Broil; may be they don't get Google at HQ.  I, on the other hand, do.  

1190 Wyandotte Street East  Windsor, ON N9A 3K3 (519) 254-6107.

Tell them you heard it first from The World Famous Dan Shields.  That, of course, will mean nothing.


5099...I Heart Todd Akin

Seriously how come I just heard about the Congressman from suburban St. Louis, Mizzo now?

He is hilarious.

The Republican congressman, already under fire for his controversial comments regarding rape, told a reporter for Cape Giradeau's KBSI 23 News that "female breastmilk - when fed directly to an adult homosexual male daily for at least four weeks - has a 94% chance of permanently curing homosexual perversions."


5098...The Ultimate On Sen Zimmer's Marriage

Is in this morning's Toronto Star.

It comes from Maygen Sensenberger's, that's Senator Rod Zimmer's wife, grandmother Rita Sensenberger  who in her wisdom says that "...she isn’t concerned about the age difference between her granddaughter and Zimmer...'They’re both happy, so what difference does age make? You can’t help who you fall in love with.'”

True dat.


Monday, August 27, 2012

5097...NDP Busted

So like you cannot take donations from unions anymore but the Dippers took over 340,000 shekels from their friends at the United Steelworkers, the Canadian Labour Congress, the United Food and Commercial Workers, the Canadian Union of Public Employees, the Canadian Machinists Political League, the International Association of Firefighters, the Public Service Alliance of Canada and the Communications, Energy and Paperworkers Union of Canada.  Like after the rules were changed.

The Toronto Star says the bux were returned this April and May.

QMI says "Calls to the NDP party were not immediately returned yesterday."


5096...President Romney A Def Possibility

Race Even As Parties Convene

That is a front page headline in today's hardcopy of The Washington Post which is the paper of record in D.C.

Yogi Berra said "It ever over til it's over."

It ain't over kiddies.


5095...Breaking Bad Meth Candy

Only available at The Candy Lady in the city the AMC show is based in, Albuquerque, New Mexico, The Associated Press says that the candy is a rock candy with a blue tinge.

The same stuff that passes for meth on Breaking Bad.

Sooooo if you are planning to have a drug themed party, perhaps want to scare the neighbourhood on Halloween or are doing some early Christmas shopping for Vic Toews, contact The Candy Lady online at or call/write at 524 Romero Street Northwest  Albuquerque, NM 87104, United States.  (505) 243-6239.


5094...Vegas Reacts To L'Affair Prince Harry

From  The USA Today



5093...Simon Fraser Goes Big Time

Simon Fraser, the Vancouverish based university, will, as of September 1/2012, become the first Canadian uni to become a full member of the NCAA.

Will this open the floodgates and integrate a number of Canuckistanian schools into the NCAA?

I don't think it will happen over night but for purely practical reasons I think a number of our schools will want to join the American associations.  My guesses are Lakehead, St. Clair College and the school that initiated this, UBC.


5092...There's Gonna Be A Jailbreak In Tampa

As in a jail break.

The powers that be in Tampa, the home of the imminent Republican coronation of Mitt Romney, need space to house those pesky protesters who will exercising their right to freedom of speech that need to be arrested.  Yes, you are right, the previous sentence makes no sense but it is what it is.  Sooooo what ABC Action News in town reports is that the powers that be have emptied the local jail of all 1,700 residents, most promising to return after the GOP convention.

As in a break from jail.

Only in America.


Sunday, August 26, 2012

5091...Juice Or No Juice Clemens Is Back

Sure it was in The Atlantic League for a team named the Sugarland Skeeters but, as Sports Illustrated posted, ex Toronto Blue Jay Roger Clemens pitched a scoreless 3 plus innings with a heater that hit 88 mph [that's like a lot of kph].

And homeboy is 50.

Just like the beer.


5090...Astronaut Neil Young Dies At 82

First man to walk on the moon and go platinum, astronaut Neil Young died yesterday at 3 pm EDT.

Reuters reports that NBC interrupted their regular programming yesterday to report the above story.

Excellent work except for the fact that the astronaut that passed away was Neil Armstrong, not Neil Young.

Not close, here is a cigar.


5089...Pride Parade In Ottawa Today

It starts at one ish and snakes by Parliament Hill down to City Hall.

Look for me in my rainbow coloured sombrero, Sharpee in hand.



Saturday, August 25, 2012

5088...Ottawa Girl Wants On American Idol

First a moment's silence for the late, lamented Canadian Idol which produced such stars as, and of course, plus who could ever forget.

No Star Academie for certain.

American Idol on the other hand has pumped out a lot of pop stars and the hosts and judges have become a big deal aussi.  All the entertainment sites [as opposed to the entertaining sites] say that Nicky Minaj and Keith Urban are that close to joining the team.  But Ottawa's own Alanis Morrisette wants on the panel too so we will have to wait and see how this plays out.


5087...Trash The Dress

I try to keep up on trends but I truly missed this one.

What trash the dress is is what many of today's brides are doing after their nuptials.  They have found the one yadda, yadda, yadda so they don't need the dress anymore so they trash it.  Trash the dress.

Sadly there has been a trash the dress fatality in the place where the unthinkable happens on a regular basis, Quebec.  CTV Montreal reports that 30 year old Laval realtor "...Maria Pantazopoulos...Friday...was swept away in the current near Dorwin Falls in Rawdon Friday afternoon."


5086...It Is Looking Very Pequiste In La Belle

Montreal Gazette, The, reports that the current Leger Marketing Poll shows the PQ at 33, the CAQ at 28 and the PLQ at 27.

With those numbers the Parti Quebecois is looking at a minority government; one could surmise that the CAQ and the PLQ could form a coalition government.

Eleven days to go.


Friday, August 24, 2012

5085...Only Two Per Cent Of Us Don't

Don't believe in climate change.

The Canadian Press reports that is what a poll by Insightrix Research, Inc. for IPAC-CO2 Research Inc. out of Regina found out earlier this year.  

I actually know the two per cent:  Dan Colterman and Lowell Green.


5084...Randy Travis Makes TMZ Again

Making TMZ is usually not a good thing and this case is no different.

TMZ reports that the DFW based country star got his butt busted again.  This time it was for assault.

The estranged husband of his girlfriend got into it with his wife and Randy Travis decided to intervene and the end result was a ticket for a Class C misdemeanor for simple assault.


5083...Grits Fined For Robocalls In Ontario

Guelph to be precise.

It's all over the radio, tele, 'net, the papers

4900 dollar fine.  Here is the deal, the Liberal Party of Canada makes a mistake, apologizes, cooperates with investigation, and pays the fine. That sounds like integrity to me.

Would you please forward this to the lad living at 24 Sussex for me?  Danke.


5082...Man In Ballgown Robs Liquor Store

And it is not even Pride week in Texas!

I will let Phillip Caulfield of The New York Daily News fill you in.

Texas cops are hunting for a cross-dressing bandit who robbed a liquor store in an evening gown and wig over the weekend.  The man strolled into the store in Kilgore, east of Dallas, at around 12:27 p.m. on Saturday wearing a green knee-length gown and a black page boy wig.  After pulling a small pistol out of his purse, the robber forced the clerk to handcuff himself and swiped an unspecified amount of cash from the register, cops said.

 Cops in Texas are hunting for a man who robbed a liquor store in an evening gown and wig .

One a scale from one to crazy that is some crazy story.


5081...Lance Armstrong Flying The White Flag

It is widely reported that one of the greatest athletes ever and seven time winner of Le Tour de France, Lance Armstrong, has given up his fight to clear his name re performance enhancing drugs.

Seriously why should anyone care?  You have to not just do the steroids, hgh whatever you also have to do the work.  If anythng I like the fact that pro jocks are juicing; makes for a better contest.  It is kinda funny that steroids are wrong but getting laser eye surgery like Tiger Woods and others have or wearing contacts that make the ball pop is okay.

One more thing, if the CFL and NFL did serious drug testing there would be a tremendous turn over in staff in both leagues.


5080...Dean DelMastro Update

Nothing to update.

He's been lying low and since he is friends with everyone at the one electronic news outlet in Peterpatch he is getting a big pass from his homies.

I am sure that before he hit the mattresses he tore apart the chip section at the Costco though.


5079...Chad And Avril Update

From the land o' Facebook.

love this tweet from @morgan_murphy: Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger have requested that in lieu of wedding gifts, everyone stop laughing uncontrollably at them.

True dat.


Thursday, August 23, 2012

5078...Hampton University Bans Rows And Dreads reports that the Business School Dean at the historically Black school in Virginia, Sid Credle, has banned students in the Hampton University B-School from wearing cornrows or dreadlocks.  

His reasons that since ""...Charles Drew didn't wear, Muhammad Ali didn't wear it. Martin Luther King didn't wear it." then no one should.

What about that Internet thing that all the kids are on these days?  I hear MLK gave that a pass too.  Just saying.


5077...Republican's And Campaign Music

My real world and Facebook bud comes up with this gem.

Richard Andrew KaulbarsDee Snyder, Rage Against the many musicians have forbidden the Republicans from using their songs that soon they're going to be stuck with "The Old Grey Mare."

 Pauline Marois says she is going to stick with The Horst Wessell Song.


5076...Kobe Bryant Drives Like Rob Ford

With a phone attached to his ear.

From TMZ.


5075...Dave Chappelle Meets Mayor Rob Ford

It was all over the place including yesterday's Toronto Star where I got this picture.

In The Toronto Sun a spokesman for Mayor Ford claimed that he was a big fan of Dave Chappelle's.  Or never heard of him.  I am going for b/ never heard of him.


5074...Today's Reason To Drink

Or think.

My real world and Facebook friend Rachel Decoste informs that today is  International Day for Remembrance of the Slave Trade.

The slave trade of course still goes but not at the volumes it did in previous times.  


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

5073...Billy Hamilton

You want to remember that name.

Billy Hamilton is a speedster who yesterday set the one year record for stolen bases in pro baseball.


He is playing AA for the Cinci Reds in Pensacola, Florida.

Expect to see him on the roster when they do the September callups.

Just to give him a taste.


5072...Thoughts On St. Jack Layton And The Dips

Group think indicates that we are not supposed to say anything accurate about the man who accomplished nothing during his career.

My Facebook friend Dean Rivando thinks otherwise.  

Dean RivandoOne year since the death of Jack Layton, the man who killed the Liberal Early Learning and Child Care agreement with the provinces, an agreement that would have formed the basis of federal universal child care.
Quebec's experience with $7 a day child care proves that this is one of the most effective policy measures in reducing poverty. It allows people in one of the key groups at risk for long term poverty, single mothers and fathers, go to work. It reduces their dependence on the state.
The NDP hates the poor just as much as they hate the rich. Don't be fooled.
And Jack Layton was anything but a saint.

He left out the fact that Mr. Layton also killed the Kelowna Accord and lied by omission to the Canadian people during the last election.  On the plus side I know a guy who used to deliever takeout to Mr. Layton and the missus.  Helluva tipper I am told.


5071...Stop The Presses

CTV reports that there is a possible outbreak of syphilis in the porno studios in Los Angeles.

As if.

Y'know that's why I got out of the industry.


5070...More Maudit Anglaisisms From Ms. Marois

Just in case you didn't catch it in yesterday's Suns the woman who leads the PQ and is the next Premier of La Belle, if it all goes according to plan, put a little more hate on the feared anglos yesterday.

"She says that if elected Sept. 4, her separatist party will require all non-francophones to be proficient in French if they want to run for public office."  Even in places where English is la langue.  "0n a campaign stop in Montreal, the PQ leader said she plans to reintroduce a bill on Quebec citizenship that sets out clear rules about who has the right to run in municipal and provincial elections."

Perhaps she could name the bill after a city like that other leader did back in the day.


5069...Carleton Hoop Tonite 7 Bells Vs NorthEstrn

The school from Boston, the Northeastern Huskies, are going to get beat like a rented mule tonight.

OMG it is going to be soooooooooooooooooo bad.

Check me out in the thousand dollar courtside seats with my red Carleton sombrero, Sharpie in hand.


5068...PaulineMaroisMeetDanielleSmith/Tim Hudak

Perhaps you remember Danielle Smith, she was/is the leader of the Wildrose Party who had a big lead going into the final phases of the Alberta provincial election earlier this year.  Then she started talking.  And talking.  And talking.

The wheels they fell off and she lost.

Perhaps you remember Tim Hudak, he was/is the leader of the Conservative Party of Ontario who had a big lead going into the Ontario provincial election last year.  Then he started talking.  And talking.  And talking.

The wheels they fell off and he lost.

Pauline Marois, the leader of the Parti Quebecois is showing once again that those who forget history are condemned to repeat it.

The wheels are falling off.


Tuesday, August 21, 2012

5067...Pauline Marois Big Faux Pas

August 21, 2012


5066...These Are The End Days Fer Sure

It is over.

The planet will soon implode/explode/something/something.

People Magazine's online arm is running the story that Chad Kroeger of the hated Canadian band Nickleback [who, by the way, are hated so much that they could sell out any venue in North America toute and suite] put a 14 carat diamond on Avril Lavigne's ring finger.

And I quote:  "For an exclusive engagement photo plus more on Lavigne's stunning ring, check out this week's issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday."

I will be the first in line at The Quickie.


5065...First They Kill Breaking Bad Now The Office

This year, its ninth, will be the end for the second best thing to ever come out of Scranton, NBC's The Office.

You know in this era one would think that, like Degrassi in Our Home And Native Land, you could run this show forever.  If the talent gets too expensive or bored it is all good; just move on.

Been a tough year TV wise for The World Famous.  Breaking Bad is going, NYC22 was axed, Don Cherry's show may go on strike and now this.


5064...Usain Bolt Turns 26 Today


This means that the fastest man in the history of history has not reached his athletic peak yet.



5063...Mike Huckabee On The Plus Side Of Rape

You read that correctly.   

The former governor of Arkansas, former prime contender for the GOP nom for POTUS and the man who on Rick Mercer's Talking To Americans congratulated Canadians on the building of our National Igloo, sees the plus side of rape.

The Los Angeles Times' James Rainey was listening, along with millions of Americans, to Mike Huckabee's national radio show yesterday and transcribed these bon mots "Ethel Waters, for example, was the result of a forcible rape...I used to work for James Robison back in the 1970s, he leads a large Christian organization. He, himself, was the result of a forcible rape. And so I know it happens, and yet even from those horrible, horrible tragedies of rape, which are inexcusable and indefensible, life has come and sometimes, you know, those people are able to do extraordinary things."

He said that.  Out loud.  On the radio.


5062...Sponge Bob Threatens Ukraine Society

At least according Ukrainian officialdom.

The FW reports that "According to a study by the Ukrainian National Expert Commission for Protecting Public Morality, in addition to 'promoting homosexuality,' the popular children’s cartoon program is part of a 'large-scale experiment' to turn Ukraine’s children into 'criminals and perverts.'”

I knew it.


5061...My Butt Hurts. Who Do I Sue?

The Dallas Cowboys.

That's who.

The stronza doing the suing is Jenelle Carillo who burnt her tuckas sitting on a marble bench outside Cowboys Stadium on a 101 degree day, that is about 40 Canuck degrees.  Her lawyer, Michael Walsh, told CBS in DFW that she had to spend a week in hospital having her backside brought back to factory specifications.

Oh, yeah, this happened in 2010.  Two years ago.  Methinks that Jerry Jones, the owner of America's Team, will write a fat cheque and Ms. Carillo will go away.


5060...Hipsters Move Elvis Down The Road

The Ottawa Citizen breaks the news this morning that the Elvis Sighting Society, as featured on The Jerry Springer Show, is moving from its present spot at Richmond and Churchill in Ottawa.

Housed in the Newport Restaurant the ESS is moving north a few blocks to the corner of Scott and Churchill when the Newport moves Jan 2 of next year.

Replacing the Newport will be another hip and cool eatery.  Le bun, le water, le hundred dollars.


Monday, August 20, 2012

5059...It Is Officially The 1960's In Augusta, GA


ESPN reports that Augusta National Golf Course, the home of the most prestigious golf tourney extant, The Masters, has leapt right into the 1960's.  They are going to allow women into their club.  "...under increasing criticism the past decade because of its all-male membership, invited former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and South Carolina financier Darla Moore to become the first women in green jackets when the club opens for a new season in October."

Both accepted.  Ms. Rice btw is a two fer.  Ms. Moore is not.


5058...Pride Week In Your Capital

The flag, the rainbow flag, is flying over City Hall, pissing off CFRA Nation but making everyone else feel all inclusive.

Big parade is on Sunday.

Look for me marching with Yasir Naqvi wearing my rainbow coloured sombrero.


5057...Phyllis Diller 95 And Dead

Story just broke.


Man she was funny.

95, good number.

Rest in peace.


5056...Western Quebec Is In Quebec

If the signs on Greber in Gat mean anything it is going to be a tight one in La Belle.

Gotta love it.


5055...A Winter Without A Mall

In a city with nothing to do.

That is the fate of the residents of Elliot Lake, Ontario.  The Canadian Press reports that the Algo Centre Mall, the mall whose roof collapsed earlier this summer, was the shopping, meeting and social centre of the isolated community.  When I say isolated I kid you not.  The city of 13,500 is smack dab in the middle of the Canadian Shield, thirty clicks north of the highway and a long two hour drive from the nearest city of any size, Sudbury.  

"'You can't buy underwear in Elliot Lake today, one woman observed."  No library either and sixty per cent of retail is buried underneath the Algo Centre Mall's roof.


5054...Hank Jr. On Why Not To Smoke Pot

Coz it makes him stupid.  Reallllllllll stupid.

You may recall that the country singer made the news last October when on Fox and Friends he compared Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler.  That cost him both credibility and cash in so far as he lost his twenty year gig doing the opening song on ESPN's Monday Night Football.  

Huffington Post reports that "In a July 2012 interview with Rolling Stone, Williams Jr. doubled down on his particularly blunt brand of criticism of the Obama administration.
'We've got a President that does a call to the Koran or Mecca or whatever,' he told the magazine. When asked if he believed Obama hated America, Williams Jr. responded, 'I don't know about that but it's kind of obvious. I guess when you take a tour, a world tour, to apologize for America.'"
Wait for it, it gets better.  Joe Lawler of The Des Moines Register says that at the Iowa State Fair last week Hank Williams Jr. told his cheering fans that "We've got a Muslim president who hates farming, hates the military, hates the U.S. and we hate him!"
A country boy will survive.

5053...More First World Problems

Got this off of

A brilliant student, Kaitlin Nootbaar, was denied her High School diploma for using the word "hell" in her Valedictorian speech, according to Oklahoma City's KFOR. A school administrator at the High School in Prague, Okla., demanded a personal apology from her before handing it over, a condition she turned down—and which her family believes is illegal.

Question:  high school grad story in August?  Was BB holding this for a slow day or is this grad time in Prague?


5052...Quebec We Have A Loser

In the debates last night it is universally reported that out of the four participants the last place finisher was Pauline Marois.

See, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

And it may not be a train.


Sunday, August 19, 2012

5051...Bacon Jam


My real world friend David Pimm as tipped me off to the fact that The Market, a resto in Fairmont Hot Springs, B. C., has such a product on their menu.

Check 'em out at


5050...Jean Charest And The Nine Year Itch

I was doing a little research and noticed that since the end of the Maurice Duplessis era no party in La Belle has broke through the nine year barrier.

The PQ was in from '76 to '85; PLQ '85 to '94; PQ '94 to '03 and; PLQ '03 to '12.

Just another reason to support PFK.


Saturday, August 18, 2012

5049...Whose Side Is Mulcaiir On In Quebec Elex?

Good question, eh?

I don't have the answer; perhaps no one does.  The member from Outremont's announced on CBC's The House this morning  that "You can be sure that the NDP will be running in the next provincial election in Quebec and that will change things, of course."

But who do they like this time?


5048...United Church Hating On Israel

But they are not anti-semites.

Of course not.

It's in the online edition of The Ottawa Citizen and most likely being reported from sea to shining sea.  "Canada’s largest Protestant church has approved a controversial boycott of products made or linked to Israeli settlements built on occupied Palestinian territory.  The United Church of Canada’s decision is intended to signal to the Israeli government that it considers Israel’s continued occupation of the West Bank and East Jerusalem illegal, and to contribute to a long-term Middle East peace."

The beauty of the whole exercise is that although the United Church has announced a boycott they haven't announced what products they are boycotting.

Le cart ahead of le horse.



5047...Intervention Is Back

If you are feeling down on yourself, thinking perhaps you drink too much, smoke too much, are sniffing too much gasoline, well A&E's Intervention has just debuted its 13th season.  No matter how messed up my life is, I don't have beer for breakfast.  Well, most days I don't.

Episode One is Nichole, a Calgary girl who likes to drink eighteen cans of suds a day.  I like the Canuck, oh, sorry Calgary, Canadian spin to the show.  Oh, yeah, and she is tiny, like a pretty little elf so the beer does damage.  

Actually Intervention shows something rarely seen on non news Cdn TV.  Snow.  Like, honestly, you would think in thirty years Degrassi would have one frigging snow day.


Friday, August 17, 2012

5046...Andrew Wiggins Has A Problem

My source tells me one of the things that may hold the best player in the world back, the best basketball player in the world outside of the NBA that is, one of the things that may hurt him is his SAT scores.

Apparently, according to my source, Andrew Wiggins was failed by the school system in Ontario and reading, well, he cannot read.

This may impact his choice of schools; Syracuse is still in the mix if their rep holds true, right Fab Melo?


5045...Tyler Ennis Goes To Syracuse

Oh yeah.  The news is all over the place.

Tyler Ennis, the New Jersey prep player of the year as a junior, is going to the 'Cuse.

He's a class of '14 boy who is from Brampton and is a 6'2" guard who is the number 20 player in the country.

Best part about this is Mr. Ennis' committing to SU brings Andrew Wiggins of Vaughn, Ontario, the number one player in the world and another '14, that much closer to the Carrier Dome.

The funny thing about this is that Tyler Ennis is not the most common name in the world yet there is another uber successful athlete in the same area, Tyler Ennis of the Buffalo Sabres.

Cool, eh?


5044...Can You Say Premier Marois?

Pauline Marois, I know, OMG, OMFG, is, unless she pulls a Danielle Smith, going to be the next Premier of La Belle.

The two most recent polls, which I spotted on the CJAD website, have the PQ sitting at 33/34 points.  The PLQ and CAQ are in the high 20's.

PFK is nowhere in sight.


5043...Pride Starts Today In Your Capital

God bless them; if it wasn't for gay activists cheap bastards like me would have to pay for condoms.

So I am pro pro pro Pride.

I figure the free condom thing saves me close to three dollars a year.


Thursday, August 16, 2012

5042...Crime In Ottawa

This is what passes for crime in your capital, a metro of about 1.3 million btw.

580 CFRA is actually broadcasting this story and has it on their website.

Police seek would-be cheese thief
Lauren Davis with Sarah Anderson
Thursday, August 16, 2012Ottawa Police are looking for a man who tried to steal 21 blocks of cheese from a Nepean grocery store.
It happened at a Food Basics on Merivale Road around 5 p.m. on Wednesday.
After a brief struggle with the grocery store's security guard, the suspect dropped the bag full of about $130 worth of cheese and ran off.
The suspect is a man in his 20s, about 5'10", 200 lbs., with a dark mohawk haircut.
Best part of the story is it took two, 2, TWO of CFRA's crack 24 hour news team to nail this puppy down.


5041...The King Is Dead; Long Live The King

It was on this day in 1977 that the King, Elvis Presley, died on the toilet at Graceland in Memphis, Tennessee.

One of those moments that is etched in my mind forever.  I was sitting in front of a bowling alley in downtown Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan with my boy Jeff Hamilton when we heard the newsflash on 13CJME.

We took our sitting in front of the Bowlarama as a sign and went in and bowled a string in his honour.


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

5040...Fox News Er Sun News Nosestretcher

So, according to m' real world and Facebook friend Dan Colterman "Brian Lilleys report tonight, points to Frank Graves being 'Pierre Poutine'. Watch for it. This is going to be good."

This of course defies all logic.  Frank Graves is from Ekos and they are the Liberal pollsters and one would think, unless he is a self hater, Mr. Graves would be tres red.

Honest to goodness you cannot just say sh*t coz it fits your argument.


5039...Another Reason To Love Quebec

Let's see now, Quebec, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.

First off, cheap beer.  And it is in corner stores.

Super C chickens.

Bring your own wine restos.

Now this, via Facebook from my real world friend Rachel Decoste.

On QC radio today... Trois Rivières QC mayor Yves Lévesque says «PureLaine (white) Quebecer should have been PQ candidate in my city». Link to follow. #xénophobe

Quebec is the gift that never stops giving.


5038...Don't Try The Brown Acid

Woodstock, the iconic rock concert that help define the sixties, opened on this day in 1969.


5037...Rob Ford Is A Trend Setter

Yes he is.  The porcine mayor of the greatest city in the world is on the leading edge of multi tasking.

The multi task is, of course, reading and driving.

Hizzoner avoided a fine [and dying] when he was reading some stuff while cruising down The Gardiner Expressway earlier in the week.  Carmen Velocci followed Rob Ford's lead Tuesday just after noon in the Woodstock area but wasn't so lucky.  She didn't die but Canoe reports that her reading while moving 88 feet per second caught her a distracted driving charge.


5036...And You Thought You Had A Bad Week

Len Berman's That's Sports reports that "First Chad Johnson was arrested for head-butting his wife, then the Miami Dolphins released him, then their reality show was canceled by VH1 and now Evelyn Lozada has filed for divorce after 41 days of marriage. That's basically hitting for the Ochocinco cycle. Plus he had to suffer his firing by the Dolphins being shown last night on HBO's Hard Knocks."


5035...More Ethnic Cleansing In Store For Quebec

580CFRA, the anglo news station in La Belle's third largest market of Gatineau, tells all that "The Parti Québecois is promising Quebec voters it will forbid public employees from wearing religious symbols on the job. That would include Muslim women wearing head scarves, Sikh men wearing turbans, and Jewish men wearing yamakas but would not remove the Christian crucifix. Leader Pauline Marois says the crucifix is part of Québecois heritage."


5034...Bestest Obituary Line Ever

From yesterday's New York Times.

"Helen Gurley Brown...died on Monday in Manhattan. She was 90, though parts of her were considerably younger."

No truth to the rumour that instead of being buried she is going to be put out at the curb in a blue box.


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

5033...The National Champs Are One And Zero

Yeah, bay bee!

Carleton's Ravens men's team played a team from Buffalo, the UB Bulls that were a mirror image of themselves and, as should be, the game came down to the last shot.  Number 44 for UB [the only person not in the program btw] rimmed out a 3 as time expired and the U of K won 77/75.  Or may be 79/77.  Whatever, you get the idea.

Exciting?  OMG.

Back at it Saturday against UNLV they are; the women be going strong tonite against Iona.

Again I will be there wearing my red sombrero, Sharpie in hand to greet my legion o' followers.


5032...Rob Ford Channels Britney Spears

As in "Ooops I Did It Again".

The Ford Follies continue their run in Toronto.  This time it is The Globe and Mail reporting that hizzoner got busted by "A Twitter user by the handle of @ryanghaughton tweeted a picture of Mr. Ford holding up a sheaf of papers while in the driver’s seat of his Cadillac Escalade."

Such is life.


5031...Party On It Is Pakistan Independence Day

Seems like the first one was only yesterday.

But it is today.

Thanks for the Facebook tip Judy Sgro.


5030...Bye Bye La Belle

First off I gotta say I really love Quebec.  My dad worked in a factory there, E. B. Eddy's, for half a century, I have spent about 80 per cent of my life within a mile of the border, shop there, just think it is the coolest.

I may be the only one in the ROC who feels that way.

As you prob know the leader of the PQ, Pauline Marois, is agitating for another referendum.  Turns out a poll done for QMI by Abacus Data indicates that 26 per cent of Canucks would like to see Quebec go bye bye and, if a referendum were held in the ROC they would vote that way.


5029...Big Goings On At Carleton Tonight

It is the start of the exhibition basketball season at my alma mater.

Tonight the defending national champeens play against a teams from Tim Hudak's hometown of Buffalo, the University of Buffalo Bulls.

Look for me in my official red sombrero coaxing the Ravens to victory.


5028...Helen Gurley Brown RIP


If it wasn't for Helen Gurley Brown some of us would not be here.

She was one of the driving forces, primarily through Cosmopolitan, behind the sexual revolution.

Later, gator.


Monday, August 13, 2012

5027...Today's Excuse/Reason To Drink Is...

It's lefthander's day.

I know.

But drinking is drinking.


5026...Happy 85th Birthday Fidel Castro

Putting off his trip to Hell for yet another year the former Cuban dictator and all around tyrant Fidel Castro turns 85 today.

If he thinks Havana is hot; no hill in Hell.


5025...Senator Ponytail Looking For A Beating

Another one.

The Tory cash for lifer who got beaten like a rented mule earlier this year by Justin Trudeau is back Tweeting.  This time he was/is chiding his better for not congratulating each and every Canuck medal winner singularly.  More so he is implying that Mr. Trudeau is a separatist.

Bit of a stretch.


5024...At Least He Is Green

Paul Ryan that is, the veep to Mitt Romney's prez in 2012.

Not that kind of green; the O'green.

Saving grace.



The Olympics are over.

The same group of people who be moan the fact that the Stanley Cup playoffs are on every channel may now go back to watch Ellen at its regular time.

Thank Our Lord and Savior for that.


Sunday, August 12, 2012

5022...Mitt Needs To Make His Mind Up

The former governor of Mass, the son of the former governor of Mich and the man who would be the ruler of all things American, Mitt Romney canna make his mind up.

Steven Benen on MSNBC's Maddow Blog reports that "For months, Mitt Romney has said repeatedly that Americans should vote for him because of his business record. In a startling turn of events, he told Chuck Todd he'd like his past to be excluded from the race altogether."

Decisive.  Mr. Romney is not decisive.


Saturday, August 11, 2012

5021...Heavy Hookers Cost Taxpayers Many Bux

It is all there in The Telegraph.  Prostitutes in New Zealand's biggest city, Auckland, are wreaking havoc and costing tax payers in that burgh beaucoup d'argent.

The problem is the hookers are using traffic signs as dance poles, an advertising ploy that has apparent success; the negative part of the equation is the fact that, according to Donna Lee an elected member of the Otara-Papatoetoe Local Board, "...Some of the prostitutes are big strong people."

More than 40 poles have been bent, buckled or broken on the Auckland stroll in the last 18 months.


5020...Funniest Headline Ever

It is in today's Montreal Gazette

Anglophones should consider the PQ, says Pauline Marois

That is like chickens voting for the farmer.


5019...Marilyn Manson He So Smart reports that "Redditor j_patrick_12 says he ran into Marilyn Manson in an airport security line, and that Manson was apologizing profusely for the word F*CK written in eyeliner on his face, explaining that it was there to stop paparazzi from taking saleable pictures, and not because Manson wanted to be mean to people in the airport."

How smart is that?



5018...Quebec Looks PQ ish This Time

Look the election in Quebec is toute toute f*cke; who you gonna pick?

There is Jean Charest, the Conservative who calls himself a Liberal.  Corruption?  What corruption?  Sure 86 per cent of Quebecers think the nation inside a nation is dirty [reference Eric Duhaime's piece in The Ottawa Sun earlier this week] but what do they know?

There is Pauline Marois, who is just a whacky throw back to the pre Rene Levesque days of separatism.  She is insane in the membrane.

The CAQ?  It is the new ADQ and we really didn't figure out the ADQ so its rebirth is sorta confusing.

The party that interests the most is the QS, Quebec Solidaire, the only progressive, truly progressive, party running.  QS is projected in a current poll to get 5 seats, up from 1.  But those 5 seats may give them the balance of power.



5017...I Meant Paul Ryan

Ooooopsie, wrong again.

I meant Paul Ryan, the Republican congressman from Wisconsin would be the Veep for Mitt Romney.

If you know anything about this guy he has but one redeeming feature.  He is Irish.

C'est toute.


Friday, August 10, 2012

5016...Vice President Nikki Haley

She is the current Governor of South Carolina and I am predicting she will be the Veep for Mitt Romney.

I have been wrong many times before but I like this pick.

She is a viz minority, daughter of immigrants, is hot, is soooooooooo right wing.

You read it here first.


5015...NBC Shows Germany Has Taken UK

Thing is Canada has taken over Germany.  And Oz has China.  And...

As Harry Neale would say "Beauty".


5014...Steve Nash Wakes Up With A Fat One

Twilight gets brighter for the B.C. boy whose new team, the Los Angeles Lakers, just signed Superman.

Dwight Howard, cape and all, leaves the magic of Orlando for the lakes of LA.

Ring me up.


5013...74 Year Old Charged In Drive By

It ain't Compton, it ain't Detroit, it ain't Harlem.  

It's southern Saskatchewan.

I am telling you they don't play in Regina.  

The Regina Leader-Post reports that "Albert Clarence Kaiswatum...was charged on Tuesday with driving by 25-year-old Delray Travis Hunter in a blue vehicle and shooting him in the upper torso with a rifle on July 29 at around 6:15 a.m. on the Piapot First Nation."

74.  And I saw vid of him on CBC Regina, this dude is not a young 74.  Just don't f'ck with him, k?


Thursday, August 9, 2012

5012...Mitt Romney And The London Olympics

They started badly for him and they have ended badly for him.

E. Kaye Fulton shares the little known fact that "No candidate has ever has their horse lose in Horse Dancing at the Olympics and then gone on to win the Presidency."

If you have the internet you could look it up.


5011...Hockey Lockout?

CBC reports that Gary Bettman, the big boss of the National Hockey League, says that September 15th is the drop dead date for the upcoming season.

A winter.  Without hockey.  In Canada.

Step up to the plate Stephen Harper.


5010...Stephen Harper Has No Soul

My friend Denise Brunsdon, a star to be in Canuckistanian politics, shared this on Facebook earlier this day.

South Asian Women's Centre Statement: "Kandasamy Gunapoosani Amah is 70-year-old Sri Lankan woman was deported back to Sri Lanka today. She has 4 children, two of whom are here in Canada and two of whom are in Norway; she has no other close relatives or friends in Sri Lanka. Her family asked Immigration Canada to let her stay here so that they can take care of her, but the Government refused. Her refugee claim has been denied, though her Humanitarian and Compassionate ground appeal is still in process. This tragedy will separate an elderly widowed mother from her children who are willing to care for her. Worse, she will return to a country where she has no immediate family to care for her."

My view on immigration is simple and clear.  Let them all in and if they f'up, well that is what courts are for.  Frankly I don't think Ms. Amah was a f'up.  She definitely didn't get due process.


5009...Sponge Bob Is Dead

The Sponge Bob I refer to is the cat.  Not just any cat though, this Sponge Bob was a 33 pound kitty whom The Daily Mail says was a bit of a star in New York, New York.

Loved: SpongeBob before his adoption, in the arms of Kendra Mara at Animal Haven as he begun his search for a loving home

His weight did not kill him per se; his weight made an operation life threatening so his owners decided to see what would happen.  His death is what happened.

Went through the same thing with Grandma Shields we did.


5008...Today's Excuse/Reason To Drink

August 9th is a national holiday.

In South Africa.

Sure they like Corey Hart, still, but it is a country and today is National Women's Day.  The holiday commemorates the 20,000 women who gathered in the capital of SA on this day in 1956.  Primarily women of colour, they were peacefully protesting apartheid, the pass system and the fact that women were, at best, second class citizens in SA.


5007...It Has Come To This In Canada

The nation is excited about Canada winning a bronze in women's soccer.

To paraphrase the great Jim Rome, heard locally on The Team 1200 and all across North America on various stations, soccer is not a sport and women's soccer is not even an activity.

I rest my case.


Wednesday, August 8, 2012

5006...Regina Priorities Don't Include Indians

At least if they are poor and live in North Central, which is quite possibly the worst neighbourhood in North America.  Drug wise, mortality wise, get your ass killed wise, North Central has it all.

It also used to have a program called RAGS [I hope I got that right; I am working off a video piece CBC Regina ran earlier] but the money ran out.

Interestingly Mayor Pat Fiacco, Premier Brad Wall and our beloved Prime Minister Stephen Harper along with community leaders in the Queen City have found 200 or 300 million shekels to build a football stadium.

Coz those eight to ten football games a year are worth more to the people of Regina than a bunch of f*cking Indians.


5005...Dean Del Mastro Humble Pie

Not for him; pour moi.

I mentioned earlier this day that the corpulent MP for Peterborough and our beloved Prime Minister's Parliamentary Secretary seemingly had dodged a bullet.

Then again.

This time QMI, The Suns, has put a target on El Roundo's back.  Brendan Wedley writes that "Elections Canada is now investigating allegations donors who contributed about $20,000 to MP Dean Del Mastro’s 2008 re-election campaign were reimbursed by a company owned by the MP’s cousin."

This is old news but in a new chain of newspapers.

The wagons are circling.  


5004...Lolo Jones: Pouring On The Hate

The fact is that the world seems to hate hot women.

And Lolo Jones, Des Moines, LSU, USA, is in the 99th percentile.

She also finished fourth in the hurdles in the Olympics, 1/100 of a second out of a bronze medal.

The hate has been brought on.



5003...Dean Del Mastro Bullet Dodger

Seems that way kids.

I haven't seen or read or heard a thing about the nefarious Tory MP in days or even weeks.

Thankfully I have my poster of El Roundo tacked above my bed to keep me company.


5002...Randy Travis Morphs Into George Jones

Last night the country star went for a drive in his 1998 Pontiac Trans Am.  It did not go as planned.

The Dallas Morning News reports that Randy Travis, an allegedly over refreshed Randy Travis, got in a one car crash and then decided to, as you do, get naked and lie in the middle of the road.

When the cops showed up a naked Mr. Travis threatened to shoot them.  That is a big no no.

Looking good Randy T, looking good.


5001...Rob Ford Hospitalzed

Hizzoner of Tronna, Rob Ford, has checked himself into hospital.

CBC reports that "A late-night statement from the mayor's office said Ford went to hospital on Tuesday evening 'after feeling unwell.'  The mayor is in Humber River Regional Hospital."

Dude you are like six feet tall and weigh four hundred pounds.  Your BMI has to be over 50.  Five words to live by Mr. Ford:  Step away from the buffet.


5000...Good, No Great News For Tim Hudak

WGR SportsRadio 550, the radio home of Buffalo Tim Hudak's fave hockey, Sabres and football, Bills, teams, offers great news for the man who would be Premier.

"US Senator Charles Schumer has called for a 2:15PM press conference today, at Ralph Wilson Stadium.  A release from Schumer's office says he will 'launch his plan to keep the Bills in Buffalo for the long term'. Reports say the press conference has to do with negotiations on a new lease."

You may now exhale Mr. Hudak.


4999...Joan Rivers Handcuffs Herself To Costco

In a brilliant marketing ploy Joan Rivers took her Fashion Police crew to a Costco in Burbank, California where she proceeded to handcuff herself to a shopping cart and wouldn't leave til the coppers  in that 'burb showed and told her to hit the road jack.

The Associated Press says the problem is Costco, at least this particular Costco, doesn't carry her new book  "I Hate Everything...Starting With Me." 

Something tells me that sales of the tome will jump a tad today; brilliant move Ms. Rivers.


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

4998...Beach Volleyball Bums

John Bower tipped me through Facebook, by the way you may friend me if you want,, about the horror of those poor exploited beach volleyball players having their bums photoed and broadcast all over the TV.

The article from Metro.ny says that the over emphasis on the ladies posteriors is "...gross..."

What the sanctimonious twerp who wrote the piece, Nate Jones, left out of the discourse is the fact they, the beach volleyball players, male and female, seem to do all of their signalling using their asses as shields.  This makes ass shots an essential part of following the game in the same way crotch shots of catchers in baseball are important.  Don't see Mr. Jones vexed about that, do we? 

Two more things boss.  First off do not, I repeat, do not watch football, especially the NFL.  If there is a 

more ass oriented sport than football, well, there ain't.

Secondly the finals are tomorrow at 4, USA vs USA with the Bronze match between Brazil and China at 2.    Personally I am hoping for Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor coz Ms. Walsh is Irish and Ms. May-Treanor and I are FB friends.